Sarkozy to Dump Metric System!

Real Purpose of New Hampshire Vacation Revealed

French President Nicolas Sarkozy, ostensibly "relaxing" in New Hampshire, has been using the vacation as a way to dump the use of the Metric System in France. President Sarkozy noted that even though the Metric system was invented in France, it is obviously inferior to the English system used in the United States. “We know this is true because the United States has a far more productive economy than ours, and we believe the Système Internationale is the root cause of our troubles,” said M. Sarkozy. He continued: “An economy that is dividing by ten is not very innovative. It makes sense that Louis XVI was guillotined because of this. From now on, France will work with douzaines!”

In what is believed to be related to this decision, an altercation arose on a lake between President Sarkozy and some news photographers. Anonymous sources tell us that the photographers were taunting Sarkozy by yelling “35 millimeters! 35 millimeters!” Fortunately, this incident was broken up quickly.

Reaction was mixed in the United States. Many Republicans supported Sarkozy’s move, and most Democrats refused to comment due to mathematical impairment. However, one of the party organizations, the Democratic Liter-ship Council, strongly condemned the move. “This could ruin soccer for the foreseeable future!” said a representative.

The measurement issue has also entered the immigrations debate. For a few years now, economists have theorized the poor people from Central America were coming to the United States not just for economic opportunity, but also to flee the metric system still in use in the less-than-developed countries. However, certain advocacy groups, such as Metric-anos Sin Fronteras, advocate bilingual education “that teaches both sides of the ruler” rather than “English first.” Lack of education in the English system is believed one of the underreported causes of overcrowded houses and disproportionate rates of highway accidents.

In the international arena, France’s move is believed to have led to some serious study. The U.N. is forming the United Nations English System Changeover Organization (UNESCO) to study the issue further. It is hoped that widespread use of the English System to replace metric will lead to increased rates of development in Third World countries. Nicolas Sarkozy is believed to have said, “This system is so easy, even John Kerry can use it!”

Tagged, Part II

OK, I guess I should write things down about myself instead of making my six-year-old son do it all the time . . . Apologies to Ari for taking so long.

1. I like walking backwards. When we go out for a family walk, my wife and kids go forwards, and I walk backwards in front of them. This way, we can carry on a conversation, they can be my spotters, and it helps relieve back pain as well as exercise different muscles.

2. Some of my favorite sayings: “Life is uncertain; eat dessert first.” “I think it is more exciting not to catch a large fish than not to catch a small one.” “Some of the things I say may turn out to be true.” “Whereas a stopped clock is right twice a day, a clock that runs backwards is right FOUR TIMES a day.”

3. Speaking of the above, I really do have a backwards clock in my office (well, over my cubicle).

4. I have met in real life people who are involved with, or run 11 of the blogs to which I link. I am related to one. Note that two of the blogs to which I link are run by the same person.

5. Dumbest thing I have ever done: In college chemistry lab once I wasn’t paying attention to what I was doing. So I managed to hook up the Bunsen burner to the cold water tap instead of the gas. Needless to say, it didn’t light for quite a while.

6. I bought my wife’s engagement ring four years before I met her. You, too, can buy these things in Israel and bring them in duty-free. (I proposed to my wife 4 1/2 months after I met her, but that's another story.)

7. If you see me refer to a story about someone being attacked with a fish, let me assure you that it is a true story.

8. I am a “Jeopardy!” winner. I won one game and a nice trip to Seattle. The year after I was on they doubled the prize money. And now I know who Kenny G is.

Everyone whom I have wanted to tag has been tagged, I think. The rest won't participate anyway.

Make Jimmy Ride the Bus!

Hat tip: Riley, Not O'Reilly

Jim Webb votes against protection from nuisance lawsuits against anti-terrorism tipsters.

What also funny is how these limo leftists never take public transporation, either. Or even look into it, for that matter. See, if Virginia's junior Senator bothered looking at the web (not Webb) page of the Washington Metropolitan Area Transit Authority, he might have found the safety brochure with these important statements:

“If you see someone acting suspiciously, find an unattended package or witness anything unusual, stay away from it and tell the bus operator, train operator or station manager immediately.”

AND

“Recent events make it even more important for you to be our partners in safety. Show your patriotism by helping us keep Metro safe and secure.” [Emphasis added.]

Let's just say that allowing nuisance lawsuits does not help "keep Metro safe and secure."

So now Jim Webb (and his left-wing Democrat-ICK cohorts) is unpatriotic by Metro's standards?

I'm Baaaaaack!

Sorry for the lack of posting recently. We did a family vacation to California. No, we didn't see Ah-nuld, but we did go to the Monterey Aquarium and saw the jellyfish in the video above.

We also went to SanFrancisco, San Jose, Yosemite, the Gold Country, Reno, Tahoe, Chico, and Lassen before returning to SF via Berkeley. Lots of fun, but tiring. It is good to be home again!

What's Wrong with this Picture?

Democratic hopefuls snub party moderates

Democratic hopefuls to speak at "Yearly Kos"

Literally putting the "ICK" in "Democrat-ICK," wouldn't you say?

Another name for the Democratic Leadership Council may be "Future Republicans of America." Maybe Fred Thompson Democrats? (The thought of something like "Newt Gingrich Democrats" is also funny, if a remote possibility.) Are we going to have to use a term like "neo-neocons?"

There is some poetic justice in wishing Jimmy Carter a long life just to see his party implode again.

Weirdness by Demand

I’ve been tagged by Ari.

The Rules are: Each player lists 8 facts/habits about themselves. The rules of the game are posted at the beginning before those facts/habits are listed. At the end of the post, the player then tags 8 people and posts their names, then goes to their blogs and leaves them a comment, letting them know that they have been tagged and asking them to read your blog.

In this case, I’ve asked my six-year old son for his opinions, of course! (See Ari, you wanted weirdness, right?)

1. I was wondering what happens if there is a computer on the sun and it did not vaporize.
2. I like going on a rocket
3. I like “Hooked on Phonics.”
4. I like when pictures fall down and go “CRASH!”
5. I do not like if my little brother got hold of prunes.
6. I want to go on a plane.
7. I took a piece of paper and went “pfffft!”
8. I like when my little brother goes “rooooar!”

I am tagging Mommy and Daddy and Grandma and my two-year-old brother.

New Fines in Virginia

There has been a lot of news lately about new, high (even four-digit $$$$) traffic fines being imposed in Virginia to help pay for transportation. Apparently, despite all the publicity in the press and on the blogs, not all of them have been revealed to the public. So, as a public service, here is a partial list of the more obscure penalties that could result in a big fine for Virginia drivers. Many, but not all of these, were discovered by my six-year-old son.

1. Having your dog drive the car
   
2. Smoking and chewing gum simultaneously while driving
3. Taking the computer in the car and having it drive
4. Driving while using a cell phone and doing any three of the following: coughing, burping, belching, sneezing, farting, and/or hiccuping
5. A picture was driving and the picture had hands on it
6. Having a panda drive the car
7. Having old bumper stickers promoting the U.S. Senate candidacy of Ollie North or Chuck Robb
8. Having a trash can drive the car
9. Playing Barry Manilow too loudly on the car stereo
10. Burning oil, coolant, and power steering fluid at the same time
11. Off-road use of a Lincoln Navigator
12. Driving a Yugo

If you can find other such violations, please send them to us here at Isophorone Blog.

Elementary Thoughts IX

More thoughts from Ron's Six-Year-Old Son on Father's Day

What happens if you were making a scrambled egg and then when you were making it it went "ROOOOAR!"? Does that sound funny?

What happens if a balloon landed all the way to the sun?

How about if you throw something 1,000 feet? How about if you throw a computer 1,000,000 feet?

What happens if the little hole puncher did not punch something?

That's all; I do not want to say anything else.

Your Tax Dollars at Work

My source inside the Environmental Protection Agency sent me this gem. Apparently, one of the government labor unions is allowed to send left wing antiwar messages to all employees via a government e-mail system. It is very possible that this message was even composed on government computers on government time. Here is the actual message from “Inside the Fishbowl,” an e-mail publication of the National Treasury Employees Union, which “represents” certain EPA employees. (Note: Federal employees are not required to join a union or pay dues.) The person who wrote this is one Dwight Welch, Executive Vice President of the EPA Chapter, and was sent to all employees by one Diane Lynne, Senior Vice President. According to the NTEU local’s website, their e-mail addresses are welch.dwight@epa.gov and lynne.diane@epa.gov, respectively.

CHICKEN HAWK II

Congress Should Repeal the Iraq War Powers Act
Support the Troops - Bring Them Home

Prior to the U.S. war against the sovereign nation of Iraq, I criticized the rush to war exhibited by this administration. Not only did most of my predictions come true, many came true with a vengeance, exceeding even my wildest expectations of failure. You may wish to consult “www.nteu280.org” for the original “Chicken Hawk” article. The subsequent history of the conflict, revelations about no WMDs, etc. bear out the fact that we were mislead or even lied to.

The name “Chicken Hawk” was coined by some of my Viet Nam brothers to describe those in the Administration and Congress, who while dodging the Viet Nam war, seem to have no compunction about sending the children of others off to die in an ill conceived and unnecessary war.

This Administration and their Congressional supporters are about as incompetent as they come. They didn’t know Shi’ite from Shinola, al Qaeda from Al Sharpton. With decades old Cold War thinking, they tried to take on a new style of warfare. They label a military tactic asymmetrical warfare (“Terrorism”) as if it were some kind of political movement. (Actually, Charlie Cong used asymmetrical warfare against us in
Viet Nam, complete with suicide bombings, and generals like George Washington and Frances Marion (the Swamp Fox) used such tactics successfully against the British in our own revolution more than 200 years ago. So it’s not really a new tactic or strategy at all.) They mislead the public by lumping in nerve gas and biologicals with nuclear weapons as Weapons of Mass Destruction as if they were even any sort of equivalence. They don’t seem to know basic science like the fact that aluminum tubes cannot withstand the high RPM (13,500 RPM) of uranium hexafluoride centrifuging. They didn’t understand that Osama and al Qaeda were enemies of Saddam, regarding him as an infidel, secular puppet of the U.S. (And he was up until he invaded Kuwait.) They ignored Osama bin Laden’s threats to retaliate against mainland U.S. for our occupation of the holy land of Mecca and Medina in Saudi Arabia. They ignored previous al Qaeda attacks against U.S. interests, including a previous attack on the World Trade Center. We’ve now killed and displaced more
Iraqiis than Saddam ever did, and we created a training ground for terrorism and just an out and out mess of a country which was no real threat to the U.S. I could go on, but this is old hat for anyone who keeps up with the news.

The money wasted on the invasion of Iraq could have been more readily spent on things that WOULD make us safer, instead of acting to recruit jihadiis from all over the world to attack us and our interests. For instance part of it should have been used to nail Osama bin Laden when we knew where is was. Part of this money could have been used for real Homeland Security. A number of the 9/11 hijackers were here illegally, yet we do nothing to track visitors to our country both legal and illegal. People cross our border illegally, others overstay tourist and student visas, etc. and we have a clue as to who they are, where they are, and what they are doing here. Actual terrorists have actually been captured (somehow) at our porous borders, the ports are unsecured, and so much of our National Guard resources are tied up in Iraq, that if we did have another attack on the Homeland, we would be hard pressed to deal with it. Finally, if the last portion of this wasted money were used to develop alternative energy sources, we wouldn’t have to be dependent on hostile countries for oil.

But this Memorial Day, the worst of the burden is on the troops and their families. We need to support our troops, not with some bogus magnetic ribbon attached to our car, but bringing them home from this futile and suicidal mission. Back during the Viet Nam era, except for officers, one generally served only one 12 month tour. Like many, when I arrived “in country” someone gave me a “short-timer” calendar. As you marked off each day, you knew exactly how many days you had left. Ask anyone there how many days they had left and 95% plus could give you the exact number. President Nixon, for all his flaws, at least never reneged on this “deal” with the troops. There would have been open revolt had Mr. Nixon tried extending tours for 3 to 5 months, asked people to serve, two, three, four tours of duty. While most in Viet Nam were draftees, and our Armed Forces are now all volunteer, this is no excuse. These young people volunteered to defend our country, not die needlessly.

The last election was about ending the war. Both parties have ignored the democratic will of the people. No defunding, no benchmarks, no date for withdrawal. Declare victory (Saddam and his sons are dead, Iraq has an elected government and constitution) and leave. More war is not a solution to this mess. We need to negotiate regionally a plan to stabilize the region and bring our troops home to defend America and not create new enemies of America.

Now is this appropriate to compose and send on the taxpayers’ dime? Leaving aside for a minute the historical inaccuracies (and poor grammar) of this screed, shouldn’t the union be devoting its time to working conditions and fair labor practices? My source in the EPA tells me that while this union does pay some attention to actual working condition issues, they also spend a lot of time promoting mentally unstable “whistleblowers,” who for the most part are incompetent workers fighting against the rare employee termination procedures. They are also obsessed about fluoridation of drinking water (which is apparently a right-wing plot instead of the left-wing one that it used to be). Not surprisingly, I am informed that no one in this union's leadership criticized Clinton's bombings of Serbia or Al Gore's 1992 excoriation of former President Bush for not doing enough about Saddam Hussein.

Culpeper Teacher Severely Punished!

Not!

Hat tip: Intercepts and EIA Communiqué

More importantly, the teachers' union (a National Education Association affiliate) stands behind teacher Joyce Tyree, who brandished a knife at students who threatened her with hugs. Here's the money quote about Tyree (coincidentally, the Culpeper County Education Association president) from Dena Rosenkrantz, Virginia Education Association attorney:

“Being suspended,” she said, “is a very serious thing. Being suspended with pay is not a vacation. To be kept from her classroom and not to finish out with her students and have that word ‘suspension’ (on her record), I’m willing to bet she doesn’t consider that light punishment. And we don’t either.”

There's a bad joke about petri dishes and microscopes in there somewhere!

Store Security

We had an interesting conversation the other day with a person involved in department store security in a local mall. It seems that quite a number of the foreign nationals in our area get caught for shoplifting offenses. You wonder what happens with these wonderful people?

The poor, indigent defendants some how get representation much better than that the local public defender can provide. The larceny charges get dropped down to something that won’t threaten immigration status. Many local judges, both in the adult and juvenile court, go along with dismissing cases or convictions on these reduced charges.

Where does the fault lie? It seems to be the Commonwealth’s Attorney’s office that is not very aggressive about these cases. In addition, we have some judges who are quite soft on crime. Someone is paying money for some good legal help for these defendants. Is that all worth investigation?

The store security person felt quite intimidated by the system, and didn’t want to rock the boat. Since this is a big election year, it might be a good opportunity to bring this sort of thing to some of our candidates. Chris discussed the candidacy of Patrick McDade for Fairfax County Commonwealth’s Attorney, a guy I also met and think has good ideas. For those of you who live outside of Virginia, you might want to look into the process involving things like shoplifting arrests and prosecutions to see what the heck is really going on.

Carbon Credit Killers!

Hat tip: IMAO

This. Is. Too. Funny
Carbon Credit Killers.

New Factors to Affect Film Ratings

Ever since the Motion Picture Association of America decided to add smoking as a factor in rating movies, pressure groups are demanding even more value-oriented items be used as rating criteria. A coalition of gay rights, labor unions, environmental, and abortion groups has presented a new list to MPAA. According to this list, movies should be rated “R” if they depict any of the following:

• Coal mining
• Religious schools (in which no abuses are taking place)
• Heterosexual couples with their own children
• Parents adopting children
• Nuclear power plants
• Legal immigrants who fill out their paperwork properly
• Ethical businessmen at a Fortune 500 company
• Positive depiction of a Republican
• Economic growth due to tax cuts
• Failure of socialized medicine
• Exposure of left-wing lies
• Debunking of environmentalist hysteria by real scientists
• Muslim terrorists
• Heroic actions by the American or Israeli military
• Political opposition to Fidel Castro
• Country music stars other than the Dixie Chicks

Feel free to add to this list.

Obama Refines Kansas Remarks

Admits to Gaffe in Richmond

Hat tip: Chris

Senator Barack Obama (D-IL), responding to criticism that he stated 10,000 people died in the Greensburg, Kansas tornado, said today that he meant “10,000 corn stalks were killed.” The Democratic Presidential hopeful also said that he was “trying to appeal to Democratic base supporters who are not very familiar with the people or agriculture of flyover country.” Obama stated his support for ethanol mandates, and mourned “the tragic loss to America’s energy supplies.” He also stated his support for the National Guard and hoped he “could reunite those deployed to Iraq with their comrades back home by September.”

The White House scoffed at Obama’s explanations. “Senator Obama doesn’t know the National Guard from a kernel” said spokeman Tony Snow.

Obama admitted that his political inexperience was a challenge he still needed to overcome. He asked for suggestions on how to avoid his corny mistakes, saying that “I’m all ears.”

Sen. Cuccinelli Goes to . . . Synagogue?

State Senator Ken Cuccinelli (R-37) spoke to a Men’s Club meeting at Congregation Adat Reyim in Springfield on April 22, 2007. The congregation’s Men’s Club had been looking for ideas for speakers, so I asked if they would like an elected official. Since the congregation hasn’t had many stop by, the Men’s Club officers approved the idea of having Senator Cuccinelli speak.

After the introduction (during which one member of the audience made a wry comparison with Tevye the Dairyman upon hearing that Cuccinelli had five daughters), Sen. Cuccinelli spoke about his observations on how Northern Virginia voters devote their political attentions. Much of the focus is towards Washington (given that many residents work for the Federal government or contractors). However, not as many people pay attention to the goings on in Richmond, where much of the responsibility for transportation funding lies.

Senator Cuccinelli spoke at length about his efforts to divest the Commonwealth’s employee retirement fund from Sudan, since the Darfur issue is of great interest to many congregants. He spoke of his work through many Senate committees, and his efforts to get real action rather than a statement. His efforts paid off as his bill passed the Senate on a 40-0 vote. However, the House of Delegates passed a very different bill, and the bill finally died in conference committee.

Also of interest to the Jewish community was the kosher/halal bill that passed in the previous session. Previous bills had been ruled unconstitutional by Federal courts, so crafting a new bill took a lot of careful wording as well as legal wrangling. Senator Cuccinelli praised the efforts of the Jewish Community Center lobbyists, and gave credit to Sen. Janet Howell (D-32) and Del. Kenneth Alexander (D-89) for a halal bill. The bill takes regulation out of the Virginia Department of Agriculture and requires that the certification authority information be made available to the consumer. Penalties for consumer fraud start with civil, but can become criminal as well.

Many in the audience were interested in education funding. Senator Cuccinelli told the audience how he has made efforts to change funding formulas only to see them die in the Senate Finance Committee. He noted that Fairfax County has 14% of Virginia’s school children, pays 16% of sales taxes, and 25% of income taxes. However, Fairfax County receives only 7% of K-12 education money back from Richmond. The audience gasped at those numbers. Senator Cuccinelli told the audience of how he tried to amend the educational funding formulas on the floor of the Senate in 2006, but was opposed by Fairfax Senators. He didn’t mention any names, but someone in the audience asked if Senator Richard Saslaw (D-35) was one of them, and Cuccinelli confirmed that he was the leader of the opposition to the budget amendment.

One member of the audience also brought up how new schools opening in Fairfax County look quite grand, like they have overly expensive flourishes well beyond what is needed for functionality. (Liberty Middle School was given as an example.) However, they also become overcrowded quickly. Sen. Cuccinelli pointed out how the Fairfax County School Board knew that schools were going to be overcrowded when they first opened based on known population projections, but did not spend the extra 15% to add another floor to a school (i.e., Westfields High School) to alleviate the problem in advance. He also did not mention that his opponent is on the School Board and would be responsible for these kinds of poor decisions.

Another question included imposition of business, professional and occupational license taxes (“BPOL” tax). Sen. Cuccinelli corrected the misconception that the tax was imposed by the Commonwealth. It is authorized by the Commonwealth, but local jurisdictions decide whether or not to impose it. Senator Cuccinelli noted that the tax was originally imposed to pay for the War of 1812. Apparently, that was a tougher war than we had previously realized, since we still seem to be paying for it…

An audience member asked about health care. Sen. Cuccinelli talked about how Massachusetts has mandated that everyone chooses a health insurance policy, whether through an employer or not. However, Virginia has no health care mandate. He described how Virginia is looking at ideas for cross-state health plan pooling to lower insurance costs to make insurance more widely available.

The topic of health care brought up concerns about temporary detainment of mentally ill people. Sen. Cuccinelli has been personally involved in representing people in these hearings. He pointed out the need for improvement in judicial handling of these cases as well as more money for facility improvements and to increase the number of available beds. This is a long term challenge for the Commonwealth that he hopes will improve in the near future. Senator Cuccinelli noted that he is not a "big spender," but that this is one area that he believes should be a priority within the existing budget.

Although time was starting to run short, Sen. Cuccinelli did discuss the recent transportation compromise. He described how is got a bare majority of votes (21) in the Senate. He said it wasn’t ordinarily the kind of bill he would vote for, but he also understands the need for road improvements, particularly in Northern Virginia. He said that the Northern Virginia delegation does not have a majority in either House of the General Assembly, so compromises and alliances (particularly with the Tidewater delegation) are often necessary. He credited the Governor for signing construction contracts while labor rates have become lower to take advantage of lower costs for taxpayers.

There was a little bit of discussion of Second Amendment rights (given the recent tragedy at Virginia Tech), and Sen. Cuccinelli affirmed his support of those rights. He did point out that some revisions were forthcoming concerning access for those individuals who have received temporary detention orders.

Sen. Cuccinelli had time for one more question from a high school student in attendance who asked about what the Commonwealth was doing about global warming (perfect for Earth Day). Sen. Cuccinelli said that the Government could do more to improve its own energy efficiency. He is also looking at concepts such as congestion pricing for roads that would help traffic flow and thus save drivers on fuel and reduce air pollution, based on the experience of other States.

Based on my own previous observations, it is a safe bet that most Jewish crowds (particularly the non-Orthodox ones) are 70-80% Democratic leaning and very socially liberal. At the end of his discussions with the Men’s Club, Sen. Cuccinelli received a warm applause. Several attendees offered him their thanks for speaking with the group. I would say that his command of the facts as well as his fiscal views made a strong positive impression on the audience.

Violence in the Workplace

The Wall Street Journal had an interesting column this past week about how bosses need to learn to confront troubled employees. Given the tragedy at Virginia Tech, this is a very timely article. It gets you thinking -- how can you tell if your coworker is potentially violent or is just bad tempered or eccentric?

Back on April 6 we did have an incident in my office. A female employee was getting some maintenance work done on her office computer. She told the technician that she did not like his cologne, and he should leave her cubicle immediately. He must have thought she was joking. So she pulled out a squirt gun and told him she was going to shoot poison at him.

This particular woman is about 60 years old and has worked in my office for over 20 years. She has a history of bizarre behavior (including another gun episode) and litigation. No one willingly works with her. As you have guessed, no one really does anything about her, either. I can't believe it's because they like her lemon cake recipe.

Do you have situations like this at work? Given the proximity of this incident in time to what happened at Virginia Tech, one can become pretty paranoid. What is it about managers that they can't fire someone like this? They've certainly fired some others.

There is some good news for me, anyway. I am transferring jobs, so I won't be in the same office or even building with her. In fact, I will be working in DC while the office I am leaving is in Virginia. The transfer is not related to the incident of a few weeks ago, but I do feel that much better about getting away.

"We Are All Hokies!"

I haven't been in the mood to post given the news of the tragedy at Virginia Tech. You will find that the politicians, university administrators, and many of my colleagues listed in the Old Dominion Blog Alliance links have said it all. A lot of questions remain to be answered, and facts are emerging slowly.

At this time, I can only offer my condolences for the grieving families and friends of the murdered students and professors, and wishes for a speedy recovery for the wounded.

On a personal note, our family did a vacation to that area of Virginia only last summer. Part of our itinerary was to visit Blackburg and Virginia Tech. The people who worked at the campus visitors' center were quite friendly, the campus was quite open, and we had a good time. The campus uses a lab facility as a Museum of Geosciences in Derring Hall. Our kids had a lot of fun there and one of the researchers gave my older son a polished rock (which he still has).

Virginia Tech has a fantastic academic reputation. I am an engineer by training, and even though I never went to that school, I have always held it in high regard. The bios I have read of the victims show the talented professors and students that the school attracts. Let's hope that we never have another tragedy like this again, anywhere.

Country Music Wisdom for Don Imus

The CMT Awards is this week, so I got to thinking -- What country lyrics are most relevant to the misfortunes of Don Imus? Well, here's my answer:

I love my records
Black, shiny vinyl
Clicks and pops
And white noise
Man they sounded fine
I had my favorite stations
The ones that played them all
Country, soul, rock-and-roll
What happened to those times?

I'm readin' Street Slang For Dummies
Cause they put pop in my country
I want more for my money
The way it was back then

Back when a hoe was a hoe
Coke was a Coke
And crack's what you were doing
When you were cracking jokes
Back when a screw was a screw
The wind was all that blew
And when you said I'm down with that
Well it meant you had the flu
I miss back when
I miss back when
I miss back when

(Apologies to Tim McGraw)

Don't forget to root for Sugarland!

Sexy Zoning Appeals Hearing!

Now that I've gotten your attention . . .

Hat Tip: Bill Hobbs

Apparently, the Gores need to get zoning approval for their solar panels. The City of Belle Meade, Tennessee, is considering his request on Tuesday, April 17, 2007. Anyone going?

Who knows, maybe Gore will then be using only 19.997 times the average monthly residential use of electricity instead of 20 times! Either that or he can add a few more fancy appliances! LOL

Pelosi, Lantos Refuse to Visit France

Thanks to Mason Conservative for the inspiration.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Rep. Tom Lantos (D’s-CA) both said that they refused to visit France. “There’s this vast right-wing media conspiracy that is telling everyone that we are willing to visit any country hostile to the United States,” said Pelosi. “This is simply not true. While there is a lot to admire about France, namely, their constructive role they played in Iraq before 2003, their strong work ethic, and their charming President Jacques Chirac, the country disturbs us in many ways. For example, they haven’t beheaded anyone in almost 30 years! Besides, we have better wine in California.”

Lantos, a Holocaust survivor, added that “we will keep France on our list of places to visit at a future time. We are excited that they encourage their Moslems to respect the Jews much the way Iran does. If this trend continues we will reconsider our travel plans.”

Linguistic Notes on Al Gore

This item from National Review Online's "Planet Gore" blog was too funny. Here is the best excerpt:

Algor, funnily enough, is Latin for "cold." The plural, Algores, is a colloquialism for "bad weather."

My handy dandy Latin book says that "Gorgo" means "Gorgon." Well, does that say something about the concept of global warming being a mythical creature?

I might note that if our lives were subjected to Al Gore's schemes, they would be the reverse of an AlGER story.

Teachers in the NUT-House

Via Intercepts

According to The Guardian, British teachers are being driven to drug addiction and eating disorders due to the pressures of their jobs.

Excessive demands from ministers and management "bullying" have led to up to one in three teachers experiencing mental health problems, the National Union of Teachers said.

Yes, the acronym for the National Union of Teachers is "NUT."

Here is the interesting part:

A snapshot survey of 140 teachers in Nottingham found one in three "resort to alcohol, smoking, unhealthy eating or other substances to help them cope".

One in three teachers going nuts? I guess the good people of Nottingham don't call the Sheriff, eh? (Sorry, couldn't help that!)

Now what gets me is that in no place does the article mention anything like classroom discipline as a problem for the teachers. I mean, isn't Britain rather notorious for their increasing laxness in law enforcement? I've even read that schools in former British colonies (which cling to backward traditional teaching methods) outperform the ones in Britain. Maybe asking for a safe learning environment is too much for these people, or too obvious.

You can read more about the "NUT" resolution here. Note also the objections to "faith schools" and to performance standards. Sounds like many British parents are getting the same ideas American ones are!

How to Tick Off a Leftist

This is too funny, and a bit politically incorrect to boot!

You have now completed your diversity training requirement for the year. ;)

Virginia Blog Carnival

OK, I don't link to it as often as I should, but check out the latest Virginia Blog Carnival. For those of you from Virginia, feel free to put in entries next week. The items are good reading for everyone. Enjoy!

Elementary Thoughts VIII

Spring Break thoughts from my six-year-old son

The panda bear went "Roar" on them, but then you know what happened? He threw an egg on your head! And then the person got very upset and then a cracked egg fell on panda.

Then the tree fell down because sombody sat on it. Then the person weighed like a thousand pounds. The house fell down.

Now I'm done saying.

Pelosi Supports Motion on Hostage Crisis

Wants "Slight Adjustment" to Republican Motion

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) said today that she has changed her mind and will now allow a vote on a resolution addressing the taking of 15 British sailors by the Iranians. The Speaker said that she had some initial reservations, but with some "minor adjustments" suggested by Rep. Keith Ellison (D-MN) and James Moran (D-VA), she is satisfied with the wording of the resolution.

"We feel that our new resolution will do more good than the Senate version," said the Speaker. The new resolution was described as seeking "balance" by calling for an end to the detainment of the British, and by calling on the British to "stop getting in the Iranians' personal space even if not in their territorial waters." The Speaker did give credit to Ellison and Moran for their effort to include the language that expressed concern about the role of "Israeli lobbyists" in the crisis. "This language is very important to Reps. Ellison, Moran, and much of our strongest Internet supporters" said Pelosi. "In addition, this is the kind of language with which most of my own constituents can agree."

No comment was available from the Republican Caucus. An inside source did point to the "widening Gulf that seems to be appearing in Congress."

25 Years Ago

The Falklands War!

If you haven't checked out Mike Antonucci's blog, you should. He has a fascinating recap of the history of the conflict. Start here for some background, or with the first installment in the series and work your way forward.

The British Navy has been in the news of late. Let's see how they compare these days. Don't you miss Margaret Thatcher?

Traitor Sponsors

Hat tips: Leslie Carbone, The Ward View, Madison Thacker, and several others.

You may have seen the video of the "peace protesters" in Portland, Oregon hanging a soldier in effigy and burning it along with an American flag. Leslie Carbone has it here major language warning). One of Leslie's commenters, Madison Thacker, posts a list of sponsors.

What I find interesting is that two chapters of the American Federation of Teachers are listed among the sponsors. These same unions coerce dues out of teachers supposedly to represent their best interests and improve working conditions? Ummmm, here they use these dues (which I don't know if they are mandatory in Oregon) to give to a bunch of traitors and flag-burners!

By the way, if you want to track all the news about teachers' unions and their activities, Intercepts is a must read page.

Now I don't know if any of you live in Oregon, but there are a lot of churches listed here as well. If you find your listed among the sponsors, you might want to reconsider your membership.

So remember the protest sponsors the next time you hear about the virtues of the teachers' unions. Something tells me even Al Shanker would be turning over in his grave!

Webb Aide Caught with Gun

Gore Gets the Blame

An aide to Virginia freshman Senator James Webb (D) was caught with a loaded pistol and two fully-loaded magazines inside a Senate office building today. After an intensive investigation, both Republicans and Democrats have decided that former Vice President Al Gore is responsible for this incident. A staffer on the Senate Energy and Public Works Committee explained: “This was another one of Gore’s fraudulent carbon offset schemes. He convinced Webb’s aide to pack heat!”

Environmental Illness

Former Vice President Al Gore testified on Capitol Hill this week that the Earth had "a fever." So given what we know about Gore's (and his Hollywood supporters') own lavish lifestyle, does this make them (ready for this) . . .

CHICKENPOX ENVIRONMENTALISTS

Well, when you are sick, you certainly can turn green.

Elementary Thoughts VII

What inspires me to blog, as interpreted by my six-year-old son

The second it turns into snow, and then it rains and the snow turns right back to rain. And then the fence fell in that storm and then we got a 40 feet snow storm. Then the rain we got all these floods.

Things that bother me:

When I am making something and someone is pushing me.

A Question to Ponder

This is going around the Internet, but thanks to Dad for sending it to me.


Dear Friend:

I am writing to you to ask for your help in shedding light on a perplexing situation I find myself contemplating.

I have selected you to aid me because you have known me for a number of years and I value your opinion. Your religious experiences are important to the problem with which I am faced.

Over the years, we have all observed the seemingly random factors that affect all of our lives sometimes without apparent rhyme or reason. We have seen some marriages dissolve over nothing, and others grow stronger under adverse conditions. We have seen fate play a role in who survives critical illnesses and who succumbs to them. We have all seen good people suffer great misfortunes while some people of low character thrive. In our lifetime, we have seen Churches and Religious institutions all around the world become revised, televised, energized and even scandalized.

We are all well aware that a higher power has control of nearly all things.

Personally, I have stood in the doorway of a 7/11, amid a shootout between the police and a gunman, and walked away unscathed. On a golf course, I saw a lightning bolt strike a man dead while those of us nearby where untouched. We all watched as Hurricane Rita ravaged some areas of the coast and left other nearby homes standing intact.

The enormity of these random and seemingly unfair applications of good or bad fortune is at the core of my dilemma. Over the years I have studied sacred writings of all major religions, and recently I have reviewed many of these great books searching for an answer. Alas, I have been unable to fathom the following, and now I pose the question to you...

Why would fate take Anna Nicole from us and leave Hillary behind???

Gassy Al and Lots of BULL

Did you all catch the Oscars? I didn’t think so. However, my wife likes watching these shows, so I dropped by the family room to see what was going on. Just my luck I caught the “let’s put Al Gore on stage to spout propaganda just in case his flick doesn’t win an award” segment.

Remember back during the Clinton Administration how their fingerprints were all over everything? Well, in Gore’s case, we seem to have to worry about footprints. According to a recent news release, Gore has one heck of a lot of energy use!

EXCERPT:

In his documentary, the former Vice President calls on Americans to conserve
energy by reducing electricity consumption at home.

The average household in America consumes 10,656 kilowatt-hours (kWh) per year, according to the Department of Energy. In 2006, Gore devoured nearly 221,000 kWh—more than 20 times the national average.

Last August alone, Gore burned through 22,619 kWh—guzzling more than twice the electricity in one month than an average American family uses in an entire year. As a result of his energy consumption, Gore’s average monthly electric bill topped $1,359.

Since the release of An Inconvenient Truth, Gore’s energy consumption has increased from an average of 16,200 kWh per month in 2005, to 18,400 kWh per month in 2006.

Gore’s extravagant energy use does not stop at his electric bill. Natural gas bills for Gore’s mansion and guest house averaged $1,080 per month last year.

So his energy use is increasing? Ah, yes, we call that the “European model,” right? LOL

Now, I don’t want to make too much light of his weight, but let’s face it, Al, your need for better-fitting suits is just one more waste of energy and resources. If you weren’t jetting around to these fancy U.N receptions, you wouldn’t look like you were about to release a whole lot of “greenhouse gas” yourself!

Yeah, it is just like a cult, this Gaia-worship. Their high priest is not subject to the moral standards he imposes on the rest of the flock. And let one of the watermelon children (green on the outside, red on the inside) away from adult supervision too long, they’ll tell you all about “pollution prevention through population control” or some such dangerous nonsense. Of course, High Priest Gore, with his four children, is exempt.

Well, the good news is that Ellen DeGeneres was so bad (as in put the “dead” in deadpan) that she made Gore look animated. I did like the sound effects chorus and even sang along. Who knew I had such musical talent! LOL

Sorry I've Been AWOL

Yes, I'm still alive. My wife has had me play amateur travel agent, and figuring out where to stay in San Francisco this summer is time-consuming and headache-inducing. If anyone has any good suggestions for cheap and clean there, please let me know. Please keep in mind that we are two adults and two children.

I've also been a bit busy at work. On top of that, for some reason the New Blogger doesn't seem to work well with the computer (or firewall) there.

I will TRY to get back to some normal posting in the near future, and maybe get my six-year-old to help.

Elementary Thoughts VI

The latest message from my six-year-old son:

Light bulbs could pop. Disk could get music. Subway. I don't want to say anymore.

Pelosi Steps into Virginia Transportation Debate

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), stung by criticism of her demands for a large plane to carry her to and from California, has entered the Virginia transportation debate. The Speaker is apparently dissatisfied with the inconvenience of having to go to a distant airport to pick up her “ride home,” so instead she is examining a closer alternative.

According to sources who would rather not be identified, Pelosi would like to step out of her office in the Capitol and jet home. In order to do this, she plans to pave over the entire National Mall with a runway and widen Interstate 66 to twelve lanes to accommodate her aircraft. Engineering design estimates show that she would need only a ten-lane road, but “the Speaker is now thinking of getting a 747 jet” to carry her, her friends, family, and supporters. “You can’t have the 757. What happens if she has a couple more grandchildren she needs to trot before the cameras?”

Speaker Pelosi will still allow for vehicle traffic on I-66. Governor Tim Kaine is urging her not to take off or land during rush hour, but “you never know what national emergency might require her to fly out on a Friday afternoon.”

Freshman Senator James Webb (D-VA) is reportedly ecstatic about the idea. “Since Nancy Pelosi will have the pilot and several crew with her on the aircraft, she will never violate High Occupancy Vehicle (HOV) restrictions. This shows how she is one of the people and not just some fatcat.”

A Must-Have for Any Household

Hat tip: Annals of Improbable Research

The Donut Robot.

Read one person's experience.

No jokes about police stations, please! (Yes, I see your "glazed" expression!)

VA Blog Carnival

Virginia Blog Carnival now up at Cathouse Chat. There's definitely some good reading there, even for those of you not from Virginia.

News You Can Use

Three pages full of brownie recipes!

We made the ones that have the layer of raspberry spread in them. They were quite popular at a Super Bowl party and at my office. Yes, we (and that means my six-year-old son and I) made them from scratch, not from a mix. My son likes cracking eggs, and fortunately no one encountered any eggshell in their brownie pieces.

Elementary Thoughts V

More selected wisdom from my six year old son:

You use mouses for the computers. The rubber bands you use when things need it. We print out things with the printer. You hear with speakers. You write things on paper when you need to. Lights are bright. You use hole punchers to punch papers. Nothing else.

The Pelosi Fighting Vehicle

Hat tip: My friend Dan.

The Democrats initiated their new military strategy for ending the war in Iraq today with the roll-out their first new weapon. It was named it in honor of the new House Majority Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, who is leading the way for effective change in government. Al Gore championed the effort claiming it a victory for both our military and the environment due to anticipated reduction in global warming and dependency on foreign oil. Sources quoted Mr. Gore as stating "This is the most important technological advancement since I invented the Internet."

"Win the War" Yard Signs

Check this out from SWAC Girl

(SWAC Girl, I hope you don't mind that I borrowed the image from your blog.)

Perfect for your suburban yard or city apartment/condo window!

Biden Seeks to Shift Blame

Howard Dean Forced to Step In

After facing a barrage of criticism over his remarks characterizing Senator Barack Obama (D-IL) as “bright and clean and a nice-looking guy,” Sen. Joseph Biden (D-DE) has asked the public to understand his perspective a little better.

“You must understand,” said Biden, “that I come from Delaware, home to DuPont Chemicals. Believe me, I strive for being in a clean atmosphere. I am sure research will show that the global warming started by use of their products may be a factor in several of my previous controversial remarks. I will attach legislation requiring the Environmental Protection Agency to deliver a report to us in the coming year on this very topic.”

Biden went on to describe the atmosphere in Congress as a factor as well. “Have you had to work closely with Byrd, Kennedy, and Dodd? I mean, these guys are called ‘old farts’ for a reason! Then there’s Hillary Clinton. You know that there’s always something that smells fishy about her. So it should not surprise you that I meant no disrespect to Sen. Obama when I described him as clean.”

Reaction came swiftly from Clinton’s office: “As a lifelong New Yorker, I can say that to describe any politician from Chicago, particularly a Democrat, as ‘clean’ is highly insulting. Perhaps our colleague from Delaware is a little out of touch with big-city realities being from such a small State.”

Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean has gotten into the act. He is quoted as saying, “Just as Ronald Reagan had an Eleventh Commandment not to speak ill of fellow Republicans, we shall have a Twelfth Commandment to prevent this kind of incident in the future. From now on, ‘Thou shalt not speak well of a fellow Democrat.’”

Well, Whaddaya Know!

You Are Most Like George H. W. Bush

You're considered boring by people that don't know you well. But like Bush senior, you do crazy things. Maybe you'll end up banning broccoli in your house, or puking on the Prime Minster of Japan!

What Modern US President Are You Most Like?

Tagged II

Tagged II

This time I am giving my own answers to the Petitedov tagging. You are warned that some of the things I say may turn out to be true!

A- available or single? – Married and unavailable

B- best friend? Money! Just kidding. There’s Gene, Michael, Jordan, Steve, Craig, etc.

C- cake or pie? Cake. Chocolate cake.
[Here I am in total agreement with my son. I would, however, like to add rum balls and raspberry chip brownies.]

D- drink of choice? - Well, I drink a lot of water! That said, I’m not too picky. Bonefish Grill had this pomegranate martini that I found interesting.
[“Water is bad enough in your shoes! For what do you want it in your stomach?”
-- Old family saying, poorly translated]

E- essential item I use every day: - The parking pass

F- favorite color? – Well, I seem to own a lot of blue

G- gummy bears or gummy worms? Not any of those two
[Here again I agree with my son]

H- hometown? Northern Virginia, but grew up in Maryland and born in New York City

I- indulgence? Milkshakes. After I munch a lactase enzyme pill

J- january or february? January. Because I haven’t gotten sick of winter yet, and because it’s my wife’s birthday (whereby I can buy her a present cheaper)

K- kids and names: Ilana (which we didn’t use because we have two boys), Nathan, (which we didn’t use because my wife didn’t like it), Evan (which we didn’t use because I didn’t go for it). Feel free to use these names if you want.

L- life is incomplete without? Project management. No, wait! How about . . . being able to see humor in almost anything.

M- marriage date: November 23, 1996

N- number of siblings: One younger sister.

O- oranges or apples? Oranges

P- phobias or fears? Vasovagal reactions.

Q- favorite quote? I have a few:
“Whereas a clock that stands still is right twice a day, a clock that runs backwards is right four times a day.”
“Life is uncertain, eat dessert first.”
“I think it is more exciting not to catch a large fish, than not to catch a small one.”
[The last one is attributed to Albert Szent-Gyorgyi (1893 – 1986).]

R- reasons to smile? I understand it's healthy for you.

S- season? Summer. I’m FOR global warming!
[If I sold t-shirts saying that would you buy them?]

T- tag: Theocon, Mike Antonucci, Tugboat Phil (what the heck is your blog?)

U- unknown fact about me: I bought my wife’s engagement ring four years before I even met her. That and I know the real fish story.

V- vegetable you don’t like: Beets

W- worst habit: Sarcasm. And too many remarks about fish.

Y- your favorite food? Fish. No, wait, I mean Chocolate!

Z- zodiac? Libra, or (metal) ox on the Chinese calendar

Tagged

You may have seen the a - z list that has been tagging people on the blogs. Well, I've been tagged (by Petitedov), but I decided to let my six-year-old son answer the questions for now. So here's what he has to say:

A- available or single? – I’m six and still single and available. I put things away.

B- best friends? Abby and Ryan

C- cake or pie? Cake. Chocolate cake.

D- drink of choice? - Cherry soda

E- essential item I use every day: - The watch
[Daddy notes that he has a Batman watch]

F- favorite color? – black, because it’s dark

G- gummy bears or gummy worms? Not any of those two
[Same goes for Daddy]

H- hometown? Virginia, but born in Maryland

I- indulgence? Hugs

J- january or february? January. Because I don’t think it is snowy, and because it’s Mommy’s birthday

K- kids and names: I don’t know; I’m only six!

L- life is incomplete without? Balloons

M- marriage date: Probably when I’m around 24.
[Daddy notes that the good ones get taken early, and he better darned well marry a nice Jewish girl!]

N- number of siblings: One younger brother. I want to have four more brothers.
[Daddy adds that Mommy will not let this happen!]

O- oranges or apples? Apples, because they taste better

P- phobias or fears? Slides

Q- favorite quote? “Let’s go over the phonics book.”

R- reasons to smile? Cameras

S- season? Fall. It isn’t too hot, and it isn’t too cold.

T- tag: Mommy, Grandma, Aunt M.

U- unknown fact about me: I play Kitten Cannon
[Daddy provided the link]

V- vegetable you don’t like: Beans

W- worst habit: I make too many balloon jokes

Y- your favorite food? Chicken nuggets

Z- zodiac? Scorpio, or dragon on the Chinese calendar
[Daddy figured this out]

Radio Not Roads Campaign

Hat tip: Below the Beltway

In response to a bill proposed by Sen. Ken Cuccinelli (R-37) to cut off State funding for public television and radio, several constituencies have started a “Radio Not Rails” movement. According to these groups, based mostly in Falls Church and Arlington, the citizens of Fairfax, Prince William, and Loudoun Counties should not mind being stuck in long traffic delays because “Listening to ‘Morning Edition’ or ‘All Things Considered’ is very educational.” According to sources in these organizations, once people listen to more state-subsidized NPR programs, they will be inclined to use bike trails, and thus, widening of roads will not be deemed critical.

Leaders of the groups issued a warning, however: “If it is found that drivers are listening to right wing hate radio, we will have to review our policy and possibly introduce other driving disincentives, such as potholes.” Asked to define “right wing hate radio,” the officials said, “We don’t know, we never listen. But we know it’s out there.”

The Senator did not respond directly to these groups, but a spokesman for a taxpayers' organization said that "in their typical fashion, Northern Virginia Democrats want to give everyone the Big Bird."

Elementary Thoughts IV

More important thoughts from my six-year-old son.

The world is big. The candles go up. The balloons pop. The books break. The speaker's here. That's all that I want.

Which Part of "Illegal" Do They NOT Understand?

From The Washington Times

OK, so FBI agents nab 24 illegal aliens at a 7-11 in Baltimore. Six had criminal records, and eight had deportation orders. These guys were smart enough to ask the agents for work. Hmmm, all vans are for construction companies, is that it?

The reactions in the news reports are interesting. The acting Mayor of Baltimore thinks that this is a justification for building day labor centers. Hey, it's not your money, right? How much would Baltimore's notoriously high crime rate might go down if you actually cracked down on lawbreakers? CASA of Maryland set up a protest at the arrest site.

Now in Virginia we have the right idea -- to eliminate as much as possible benefits to illegal aliens. Something tells me that CASA's budget would plummet at least 90% if that happened in Maryland! LOL Maybe then the tax dollars can go into something useful, like policing? Or back to the hard-working taxpayers (very few of whom actually live in Baltimore City)?

As I have said before, I am not anti-immigrant. The U.S. is one of the greatest countries in the world, and I can't blame anyone for wanting to live and work here. However, this does not mean that people should come here to be dependent on tax dollars and socila programs, and they should not come here to commit crimes. If you are here legally, fine, but if you are not a citizen, you are on probation as far as I am concerned.

So remember, if you are traveling down I-95, make sure your tank is full of gas, your tires are in good shape, and your engine fluids are topped off and not leaking. Use those fine highway tunnels (built by tax dollars paid by the citizens of other parts of Maryland and the U.S. in general) to go through Charm City. Because you don't want to stop there!

Stupid, Violent, Addictive Game

Kitten Cannon

My wife barely approves of my six-year-old playing this game, although it does enhance his mathematical abilities. ;)

Elementary Thoughts III

More wisdom from Ron's six-year-old son

Balloons go up. Hair looks messy. Light bulbs pop. Pictures fall. That's all that I want.

Hillary Clinton Readies Attacks Against Kucinich, Others

Fresh off its attacks on Senator Barack Obama, leaked information from Sen. Hillary Clinton’s (D-NY) campaign reveal that Congressman Dennis Kucinich (D-OH) is actually an extraterrestrial.

“We’ve accumulated some interesting evidence against Kucinich,” said an unnamed Clinton aide. “First of all, he appeals to the conspiracy theorist base of the Party. He also attended a Mars-drassa, and his ideas seem to come straight out of Uranus. Lastly, we think we can hammer Kucinich on being an extraterrestrial by pointing out that he is from Cleveland.”

Other 2008 Democratic hopefuls are working feverishly to inoculate themselves against more Clinton spin machine attacks. The Clintonistas are believed to be combing the pages of Daily Kos postings to find accusations of Christianity, Judaism, or other unacceptable upbringings against potential Democratic opponents. “Once we find them, they are as good as crucified” said the Clinton aide.

Documentary Movie on Environmental Movement

Mine Your Own Business, playing in New York City on Friday, January 19, and in Washington, DC on Wednesday, January 24, 2007.

No role is listed for Al Gore. ;)

Global Warming Meltdown

There were two interesting items in the news today concerning the debate on global climate change. First, the Wall Street Journal had an article about how former Vice President Al Gore ducked an interview with a Danish newspaper:

Al Gore is traveling around the world telling us how we must fundamentally change our civilization due to the threat of global warming. Today he is in Denmark to disseminate this message. But if we are to embark on the costliest political project ever, maybe we should make sure it rests on solid ground. It should be based on the best facts, not just the convenient ones. This was the background for the biggest Danish newspaper, Jyllands-Posten, to set up an investigative interview with Mr. Gore. And for this, the paper thought it would be obvious to team up with Bjorn Lomborg, author of "The Skeptical Environmentalist," who has provided one of the clearest counterpoints to Mr. Gore's tune.

The interview had been scheduled for months. Mr. Gore's agent yesterday thought Gore-meets-Lomborg would be great. Yet an hour later, he came back to tell us that Bjorn Lomborg should be excluded from the interview because he's been very critical of Mr. Gore's message about global warming and has questioned Mr. Gore's evenhandedness. According to the agent, Mr. Gore only wanted to have questions about his book and documentary, and only asked by a reporter. These conditions were immediately accepted by Jyllands-Posten. Yet an hour later we received an email from the agent saying that the interview was now cancelled. What happened?

Apparently, Al Gore never wants to debate anyone who has actually researched the topic of global climate change. The article also points out that:

1. Al Gore claims that malaria is a growing problem in Nairobi, Kenya. His claims are contrary to World Health Organization statistics. In fact, malaria was a worse problem back in the 1920s and 30s, when average temperatures were cooler.
2. Al Gore makes scary claims about the 2% of Antarctica that has melting ice, but ignores the other 98% that is getting thicker.
3. He speaks of heat-related deaths, but conveniently leaves out that more people die of cold than heat.

The second item concerns how a Weather Channel climatologist is "advocating that broadcast meteorologists be stripped of their scientific certification if they express skepticism about predictions of manmade catastrophic global warming." Apparently, she has also featured an environmental activist (from Grist Magazine) who advocates "Nuremberg-style trials" for skeptics of global warming. I might add that Grist Magazine spread claims by former TV talk show host Bill Moyers that Christian conservatives want to accelerate global environmental destruction in order to hasten the second coming of Jesus. Moyers was forced to apologize to former Interior Secretary James Watt for misquoting him in this regard.

So what do we make of this? Well, these kinds of news items should tell all of us that global warming advocates are not really confident in their "science." They know they are relying on faulty data models. Believe me, I work in the environmental field and have seen just how environmental models need constant revision. Remember, "garbage in, garbage out" is a very appropriate way of looking at all this.

As the Wall Street Journal points out, adoption of the radical measures Gore is pushing will make us much poorer and do very little, if any, good. A lot of wide-eyed environmentalists think that we will be building a more compassionate world, but in fact the lives of many will be made more miserable. Of course, Al Gore with his millions of dollars, multiple mansions, and lots of SUVs won't feel too much pain.

Have you ever gone to a time-share sales presentation? The people who do this always embark in these high-pressure sales tactics because they know that if you walk out the door without buying, the chances are you will never buy from them. Well, I feel like we are being subjected to high-pressure sales tactics, and the snake oil salespeople do not want any competing points of view.

UPDATE: See comments by I'm Not Emeril and by Squeaky Wheel. Time shares are going going going . . . LOL

Virginia AG Has the Right Idea

Hat tip: NOVA Townhall

McDonnell Calls for Immigration Enforcement Authority for State and
Local Police
-Legislation Carried By Delegate Tom Rust, Senator Jay O'Brien-
-Letter to Governor Kaine Attached to Release-
RICHMOND -
Attorney General Bob McDonnell today announced his support for legislation to clarify that Virginia localities can enforce federal immigration laws with the approval of The Bureau of Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE). The Attorney General also urged Governor Kaine to reconsider his decision to not permit the state at this time to enter into an agreement with ICE to have Virginia State Police enforce those federal immigration laws in the course of enforcing certain state violent crime laws. McDonnell made the announcement at a morning press conference with Delegate Tom Rust (R-Herndon) and Senator Jay O'Brien (R-Clifton). Rust will carry the legislation in the House of Delegates as House Bill 2926; Senator O'Brien will carry the legislation in the Senate as SB 1045.

OK, so what's Governor Tim Kaine's mental block about this (besides the fact that he is a Democrat)? We are dealing with illegal aliens who have broken the law. We have seen in too many cities where the authorities flout the Federal government instead of helping out. No wonder there are crime problems, and no wonder a large percentage of them come from illegal aliens! I think a lot of problems in fighting crime and delivering social services come from poor coordination of information. At least we have an Attorney General in Virginia who understands our problems and how to fix them. Maybe Gov. Kaine should use his brain instead of his eyebrows.

Now look, I understand that the United States is a great country and many people want to live and work here. But earning citizenship means showing us that you want to be productive to society, not to commit crimes or consume social service benefits.

Remember, Sen. Jay O'Brien and Del. Tom Rust are both up for re-election this year, so let's support them.

Read the rest at NOVA Townhall.

Same Eyebrows, Different Cluelessness?

Hat tip: Ward Smythe































Read the whole thing.

Elementary Thoughts II

More thoughts from Ron's six-year-old son:

The sun is so big. The moon compared is smaller. Maybe the clouds are usually big. Usually the ocean is deep. The ants are small.

The balloons have air. Some balls have air.

That's all that we have.

Fearless Predictions for “24”

Inspired by IMAO

At the end of last year’s season, Jack Bauer was on a slow boat to China. Well, Jack manages to escape, jump off the ship and winds up lost. In fact, he is so lost, he winds up on “Lost,” on a totally different network!

Meanwhile, Jack the doctor is brought in to treat Jack Bauer. Jack the doc uses Bauer’s knowledge (while Bauer is delirious) to get off the island and get to CTU. The people at CTU are curious about the appearance of the new Jack, but they are told that being lost at sea gave Jack a good tan.

Doctor Jack is in a precarious position. He wants his friends rescued, but doesn’t want Jack Bauer to come back and reclaim this seemingly fun job. Besides, doctor Jack finally has a better choice of women, some of whom do not have a criminal record (and at CTU, Jack can look it up).

Meanwhile, back at the island, Jack tries to infiltrate the “Others.” During that time, the island is visited by strange men in yellow feather suits, a big orange furry blob, and a kindly old man in a cardigan sweater. Almost too late, Jack Bauer (with help from John Locke and the formerly-TV-addicted Hurley) realizes that these are Big Bird, Elmo, and Mr. Rogers! The whole crew on the island is about to be taken from their current purgatory to eternal damnation on Public Television. Jack goes into a state of confusion with so many changes of network. He then has to stop the Korean guy from defecting to the PBS crew since the opportunity to learn English is a powerful draw. He vies with Sawyer for Kate’s affections.

Meanwhile, back at CTU, one of the new programmers is able to backtrack doctor Jack’s journey and put it together with the story of the still missing aircraft from “Lost.” The White House gets involved because the Federal Communications Commission can’t resolve the conflict between two major networks. As it turns out, the Chinese Communists may be involved with PBS, thus making the lives of the two Jacks finally intersect again.

In Federal prison, President Logan rubs his hands gleefully. Revenge is going to be sweet, he is thinking . . .

Pelosi Exempts Girl Scout Cookie Manufacturers from Minimum Wage Hike

Stung by Republican charges of hypocrisy, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi now claims she wants to expand the exemption to the minimum wage to manufacturers of Girl Scout Cookies. Speaking to journalists sandwiched into a Capitol Hill briefing room, a thinly-minted spokeswoman said that the Speaker was trying to promote opportunities for young women. She denied that Pelosi was trying to “butter” anyone up.

However, House Republicans became quite skeptical. Now, it looks like Speaker Pelosi has gotten herself into more trouble, as Congressman Eric Cantor (R-VA) has pointed out that she has quite a fetish for “Samoas.” "The Democratic majority has demonstrated to the American people how they are unable to think outside of the box," he said.

Where Do I Sign Up?

A Virginia State Senator is proposing a bill to give children with disabilities up to $10,000 a year in educational vouchers.

The Tuition Assistance Grant Program for Students with Disabilities would give
parents money depending on the severity of their child's disability.
Grants would be available to families with students who
have spent at least one year in public schools by 2008.
"It's not an effort to compete with public schools,"
said Sen. Walter A. Stosch, Henrico Republican and the bill's sponsor. "It's
just a way for them to get specialized training that may not always be available
in a public school." Changes to the Neighborhood
Assistance Act would make permanent the $3 million tax-credit program, limited
to two years under the current budget, he said. The
program is expected to generate $9 million in private funds, later channeled to
private, nonsectarian schools serving the disabled, Mr. Stosch said.
In Virginia, disabled public-school students are taught
using individualized education plans, or IEPs, which are crafted to meet a
student's unique needs.

So wait, why are sectarian schools precluded from providing the same services? I mean, they may have very qualified people to deal with these kinds of students. Isn't that discrimination against religion?

Now I do understand the logic. Education of special needs students is quite expensive, costing many jurisdictions well above $10,000 per year. A private organization can likely do a better job than the public schools. Note how the union representatives quoted near the end of the article can't stand the thought that someone might do a better job than they.

A few years ago I read that the city of Washington, DC does send "special ed" kids to private institutions, often costing the city at least $40,000 per year. There was (and maybe still is) actually a waiting list for kids to be classified this way so the kids can get a better education. Knowing DC, the way it will turn out is like this: "The good news is that we can get your child into a private special ed program. The bad news is that this will take twelve years!" LOL

While we're at it, why is it only for students with disabilities? Why not give all of us $10,000 per year? Heck, I'd probably settle for less than that, and my property taxes would go down significantly! My oldest was in a religious preschool for two years, and he is blitzing through the reading material the public school kindergarten teachers give him. He is also doing an amazing job doing mathematical conversions (feet to inches and ounces to pounds) in his head.

It's almost tempting to coach my sons into having disabilities, but I would want to send them to religious day school. Hey, it's worth the cost of a few batches of my raspberry brownies, isn't it?

So how much can I make with this blogging? Enough to pay the religous school tuition?

Elementary Thoughts

Note to readers:

You may notice one of my links is to a web page called Commonwealth Conservative. This page used to host a caption contest, and I would let my six-year-old son comment on the pictures on the page (starting when he was five). He got some good honorable mentions and some notice in the Virginia blogosphere. So anyway, without further adieu, here are his thoughts for today:

The junior high school kids watch video games. The trees fall. Our house has a globe and then we have Hot Wheels. This is all!

Two Views of a Surge

Wall Street Journal article

Victor Davis Hanson in National Review Online

We seem to have heard a lot of “go” word” options recently: Go long, go deep, go wide, go home, and now, it seems, go smart. I seem to pick up a common thread of letting the fight against the terrorists be more aggressive, and to communicate success better. Now I admit to never having been in the military, but I can understand if those who are serving in Iraq are frustrated by rules of engagement that limit their actions.

One thing that has been very frustrating to me is the fact that the Administration does not do a very good job communicating successes. “What? There are successes?” a lot of people ask. Yes, it’s just that the news is buried in Department of Defense web pages or web logs devoted to the cause. Big, fat, hairy deal. The President needs to get out in front of that microphone and talk directly to the American people about how major milestones are being met, how we are helping the people in Iraq, and how we are wiping out terrorists.

Somewhere along the line the Administration will have to deal with Iran. Getting rid of the mad mullahs will go a long way to reducing the violence in Iraq, Afghanistan, and elsewhere. As I see it, they can let the Israelis do damage to Iran’s nuclear facilities, we can do some ourselves, and most of all, we need to support the domestic opposition there. We learned in the 1980s that keeping enough pressure on the Sandinistas forced them to have an open and honest election, which the opposition won with 70% of the vote. That’s a good lesson for today!

Screw the French and Russians if they don’t agree!

Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish

Burn in hell, Saddam!

Speaking of which, here is a stupid joke for you all --

What did Saddam read before he was hanged?

The NOOSEpaper!

Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

UN Condemns Ethiopia

The United Nations today overwhelmingly condemned Ethiopia for its “aggressive actions” against Somalia’s Islamist occupiers. According to a Security Council Statement, “Ethiopia acted without the permission of the Security Council and didn’t even consult France. They are also being victorious without permission” The United States voted against the resolution, prompting several Senate Democrats to denounce outgoing Ambassador John Bolton for “trying to stick his mustache into the nose of Africa.”

Reaction was swift from Iran and the Arab League. According to a spokesman, Yasir al-Goatfuqr, “Ethiopia is in a conspiracy with the Zionists to deny the basic rights to Moslems. Look at how all these Jews came from Ethiopia. They are one and the same.”

Various American antiwar groups were not as enthusiastic to protest at this point. “Well, for one thing, these Ethiopians don’t look Jewish,” said Oregon protest leader Daryl Oshitnik. “Besides, I gotta go see ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ for the 25th time. Don’t tell my Mom, though. She thinks I am applying for a job at Wendys. As IF!!!”

Rosie and The Donald Have Crushes on Each Other!

Hat tips: Hot Air and Ace of Spades

Child psychologists who are studying the recent flap between Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump now theorize that both celebrities are exhibiting “delayed onset of childhood crush syndrome.”

“Rosie O’Donnell’s remarks to Donald Trump just show all of us how a hairpiece never goes grey,” said noted psychiatrist Val Ritalin. “Similarly, The Donald did not get all ‘wigged out’ at Rosie’s comments. Referring to someone as unpleasant, unattractive, and overweight (not to mention threats of litigation) really means that deep down, Trump is hoping to marry O’Donnell some day. I’m willing to bet that we will see a large rose adorning the Trump Towers in the near future.”

A spokesperson for Trump pointed out that, in another ten years when he is ready for a fourth wife, Rosie O’Donnell would be “far different from anyone he has been with before. They would complement each other in ways never before anticipated.”

No official comment was available from Rosie O’Donnell, but an anonymous source at “The View” said that “Rosie could put quite a crush on The Donald, that’s for sure.”

A June 2018 wedding is planned.

White People!

Now that I’ve gotten your attention . . . ;)

Hat tip: Phi Beta Cons

On April 18-21, 2007, the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs is hosting a White Privilege Conference. The conference is described as “a yearly opportunity to examine and explore difficult issues related to white privilege, white supremacy and oppression. WPC provides a forum for critical discussions about diversity, multicultural education and leadership, social justice, race/racism, sexual orientation, gender relations, religion and other systems of privilege/oppression. WPC is recognized as a challenging, empowering and educational experience. The workshops, keynotes and institutes not only inform participants, but engage and challenge them, while providing practical tips and strategies for combating inequality.”

I gotta tell you, I shake my head at this stuff. First of all, what does whiteness have to do with topics such as sexual orientation or the oppression of gays? Second of all, do these guys realize just how silly this sounds? Imagine, this is the eighth such conference, according to the web site. They don’t list this year’s sponsors yet, but wouldn’t we all like to know what the source of the money is? (My guess: Direct or indirect government funding as well as forced union dues.)

This reminds me of an incident at a government agency back in 2000 (ironically, just when the first “White Privilege Conference” might have taken place). This particular agency decided to pay some diversity consultants to put on a course called “White Folks and Diversity.” Yeah, you read that right. Here is the description:

“White folks often want to participate equally with people of color in creating a multicultural work environment, yet are unsure of their place in it. To participate equally, whites need an awareness of white culture with its strengths and weaknesses, as a component of a multicultural workplace. It is also necessary for whites to learn how to be better allies with people of color in creating positive change. These sessions will raise white awareness and improve allyship [sic] of participants in an interactive and engaging way. Topics which will be covered include:

“The value if white awareness in the workplace and the values of white culture.

“How to be allies and equal partners with people of color in the creation of a multicultural community.”

The announcement of this particular course somehow found its way into the Washington Times’ “Inside the Beltway” column. In response, embarassed officials at the agency in question changed the name of the course to “Whites and Diversity.” Remember who was President in 2000?

What is also interesting is that the “facilitators” for this course also happened to be graduates of the University of Colorado (Boulder). Small world, isn’t it?

By the way, they are looking for someone to sponsor a Shabbat dinner.

Now you have completed your diversity training requirement for the year! :)

“Flabby, Inefficient, Outdated”

This is a title of an op-ed piece by New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg in today’s Wall Street Journal. (As of this writing, it is not a free link.) Now I don’t necessarily agree with Mayor Bloomberg on a lot of things, but when it comes to education, he seems to understand just how dysfunctional public school systems have become.

Here is the first paragraph:

“Today a bipartisan commission of high-profile academic, government, business and labor leaders selected by the National Center on Education and the Economy (NCEE) will release a report that provides a sobering assessment of our nation’s education system: Only 18 out of 100 high-school freshmen will graduate on time, enroll directly in college and earn a two-year degree in three years or a four-year degree in six. Just 18!” [Emphasis added.]

(Note: I realize that some kids enter the military right after high school, and they may be included in the 72% who don’t get college degrees within ten years of completing high school. No disrespect intended towards members of any uniformed service.)

I was thinking about this today. Let’s look at another sobering issue concerning the youth of today: How many will grow up in a stable, two-parent family from birth to age 18? Given that close to one out of three children are born out of wedlock and that 50% of all marriages end in divorce, my guess is that the answer to my question is less than 50%. If you have an accurate number, please let me know. (Yes, I understand that some kids are orphaned, too.)

Let’s say the answer to this question is 40 out of 100. Now, I am guessing that out of that number, more than 18% meet the criteria of graduating from high school on time and earning an associate’s degree within seven years of entering high school or a bachelor’s degree within ten years. Conversely, I am guessing that of those high school freshmen who graduate on time and complete college education and earn those college degrees within seven or ten years, more than 40% come from stable, two-parent families.

I wonder if there are any statistics correlating stable marriages and education.

While I was preparing to type this blog entry I had this evil thought: Someone will write a dystopian novel in which good students are “outsourced.” That is, schools will become so desperate to enroll good students that they will import them from overseas (e.g., India or China) rather than enroll domestically-born kids. Maybe poorly-behaved kids will get “deported” to other countries as a form of banishment.

Maybe I think too much! ;)

Sea-Tac Airport Christmas Tree Issues Resolved

Officials at the Seattle-Tacoma International Airport have resolved issues related to the removal of nine Christmas trees instead of the addition of a menorah as a rabbi had requested. Under the new compromise plan, a giant Hanukkah menorah will be erected with each of the nine Christmas trees fitted to each branch of the candelabra. The tallest of the trees will be designated the "shamash."

The Sea-Tac Airport Authority realizes that other religious and spiritual groups will want recognition as well. As a result, it has issued the following decrees:

1. Native groups will be able to carve "totem pole" symbols on the menorah and the trees.
2. Environmentalists can perform interpretive dance while dressed in "Garbage Gremlin" outfits.
3. All religious clergy will be required to dress in "grunge" outfits.
4. All worshippers, regardless of denomination, will bow down to the "Starbucks Mermaid."
5. Washington State wines will be available for purchase.
6. Guides will be made available to confused travelers from California to inform them that no, they did not fly into San Francisco by accident.
7. A representative of CAIR will be on hand to throw rocks and burn everything down starting on December 24 and pour the wine down the bathroom sink.

A Politically Correct Hanukkah

Hat Tip: ACLU Nativity Scene

After the death of Alexander the Great, the Middle East was ruled by the Seleucids, and in particular the enlightened ruler Antiochus IV. Although Antiochus tried to introduce multiculturism to the indigenous population, a bunch of religious radicals under the “Maccabee” (Zionist) family armed themselves with dangerous weapons and set about making a pointless war. While Antiochus tried to introduce diversity measures to allow locals to pick their own spiritual fulfillment, the Zionist Maccabees were quite stiff necked and refuse the smallest attempts at compromise.

Oddly enough, the Antiochus Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) started to support these Maccabees, but they stopped when they found out the Maccabee leader, one Mattathias, did not engage in pedophilic behavior with his son Judah. The Maccabees even refused to allow Native American peace pipes on the flimsy grounds that America would not be discovered for another 1,600 years.

After a series of militaristic actions, the Maccabees took over their “Temple” and their true purpose was revealed: They were in search of refined oil. Their claims of shortages were proven hypocritical when, even though they sent a Halliburton exploration team in search of even more profits, the amount they had lasted longer than they thought.

Fortunately, members of an environmental group (“Shalom Yaroq,” or “Peace Green”) had infiltrated the Maccabee organization and managed to encourage energy conservation. They also recorded the Superfund site that the Temple had become and tried to hold the Zionists jointly and severally liable because of environmental justice concerns. Unfortunately, there were right-wing judges that sided with the polluters, and the few Shalom Yaroq activists were brutally massacred by a Maccabee bulldozer.

Today, we celebrate a spiritual Hanukkah in a variety of ways. First of all, we let young people build self-esteem by allowing them to spell the name of the holiday however they see fit, whether it is “Hanukkah,” “Chanukah,” “Christmas,” or “Kwanzaa.” Enlightened teachers use a six-sided top rather than the four-sided dreidel favored by Jewish neocons. On the top, instead of Hebrew letters, there are pictures of Antiochus IV, Confucius, Quetzalcoatl, Leon Trotsky, Nelson Mandela, and Rachel Corrie. The foods are much more nutritious as well. Those fattening jelly doughnuts and fried potato pancakes symbolize a bloodthirsty lust for oil. Nowadays, we have oat-bran muffins or peeled organically-grown potatoes roasted over animal dung and smothered in a special festive tahini-salsa mixture. We do not use the menorah as the “shamash” candle symbolizes inequality. Rather, we burn incense and sing “Koombayah” while eating “magic” muffins.