Friday, October 26, 2012

Now on Twitter!

Follow Isophorone Blog on Twitter at @Isophorone.

Thursday, October 11, 2012


It's the 6th anniversary of Isophorone blog.  (I have to look at last year's post or I lose track.)  It's also my birthday, which I do not have to look up.  Sorry about light posting, but life gets in the way.  Maybe I should join Twitter . . .

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Obama Releases Advertisements Condemning 2016 Film

Indicates Movie is Cause of Violence

The Obama Administration today released a series of advertisements in Egypt, Pakistan, Libya, Tunisia, Lebanon, Saudi Arabia, and Harvard Law School condemning the Dinesh D’Souza film 2016: Obama’s America and apologizing for a “radical Tea Party culture that promotes the First Amendment.”  The President remarked in the ad that “just like Christians who made fun of the Prophet Mohammed to anger you, my Muslim brothers, so did the Christian right commit further atrocities in the making of the 2016 movie.”  According to reports

The ads show clips of President Obama and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton condemning the film in English (but dubbed in Arabic, Urdu, and Legalese) in remarks they made last week, emphasizing that it was not produced or authorized by the United States government.

State Department Spokeswoman Valerie Nuland indicated that the film was responsible for the spontaneous terrorist attack that took place at the U.S. Consulate in Benghazi, Libya as well as demonstrations at U.S. embassies around the world.  Given D’Souza’s Indian background, she indicated that Secretary of State Hillary Rodham Clinton would have harsh words for the Indian Prime Minister, demanding that he stop its release in India “or we will treat India just like Britain, Poland, and Israel.”

United Nations Secretary Ban-Ki Moon reiterated the point by saying “When some people use this freedom of expression to provoke or humiliate some others' values and beliefs, then this cannot be protected in such a way.”

It is believed that President Obama hopes that by launching these ads, he can appease the Muslim world in light of the recent violence.  In addition, the White House said that this would be part of a new effort “because you can’t change Washington from the inside.” 

Cross posted at Virginia Virtucon.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Democrats Claim McDonnell “Poisoned” Biden

“Simplest Explanation” for String of Gaffes

The Obama campaign, in a desperate attempt to defend Vice President Joe Biden, lashed out at Virginia Governor Bob McDonnell and accused the Governor of “poisoning the Vice President.”  Deputy Campaign Manager Stephanie Cutter added that “no one can make that many stupid remarks unless they were under the influence of drugs or someone slipped in a toxic substance.  Given that this statement was made in Blacksburg, Virginia, and the comments on chains and about “winning in North Carolina” also occurred in Virginia, our campaign is starting to suspect foul play.”

Governor McDonnell’s office shot back at the Obama campaign.  “Joe Biden’s string of embarrassing remarks are the result of drinking his own Kool-Aid for too many years.  He should have stuck to donuts.”

Cross posted at Virginia Virtucon.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Biden Explains Chains Remark

“Trying to Regain Porn Star Vote”

Vice President Joe Biden today accused Republicans wanting to “put y’all back in chains.”  A spokesperson for the Obama campaign later admitted that the Vice President had become deeply concerned ever since porn star Jenna Jameson declared her support for Republican candidate Mitt Romney that more of the Democrats’ natural constituency might abandon them.  “It’s bad enough that people in industrial unions, suburban moms, and other previous supporters are not likely to support the President,” said the spokesperson.  “But when we lose even the aging porn stars we know that we have a big challenge ahead.  Who knows how many are attracted by Paul Ryan’s buff figure?”

The Administration has gone into overtime mode trying to meet this new challenge.  Secretary of State Hillary Clinton along with Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano proposed the most aggressive strategy, code named “Whips and Spurs.”  Clinton said that this kind of imagery will help woo back adult film actors to be alongside of their more “legitimate” Hollywood colleagues.  “There’s very little difference among all these actors,” said Clinton.  “I think that we can help them see how much they have in common.  I might add that ‘whips and spurs’ help keep Bill in line, and Huma tells me that they have helped to control Tony, also.”  It is believed that the Obama campaign will solicit the service of left-wing bloggers to test the strategy, starting in Northern Virginia.

Reaction from the Romney camp was terse.  “Mr. President, get your campaign out of the dungeon,” said the former Massachusetts Governor.  “Your failures are clearly ‘torturing’ you!”

Monday, July 30, 2012

Grow the Middle?

I was trying to have a relaxing time watching the Olympics with my family when an Obama ad appeared on  TV.  In it, the President expressed the desire to “grow the middle.”  At this point, I saw how this message could go completely awry.  (Parody?  Who, me?)  Now I don’t want to appear disrespectful to anyone who is overweight (hey, I could stand to lose a few pounds myself), but the concept of “grow the middle” sounds like Obama wants us to get lazy with big bellies and rear ends.  I mean, what does Michelle “fight obesity” Obama think of that?  Even worse, the whole thing starts to remind me of other Democrats like Al Gore or Barney Frank or Ben Tribbett or people like them.  Ewwwww!

This presents a great opportunity for the Romney campaign.  While Obama may want to grow the middle (and the bureaucracy), America grows when the government is lean and fit.

(Thanks to Riley for the artistic contribution.)

Cross-posted at Virginia Virtucon.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Obama Administration Justifies Support for Higher Gas Prices

Tired of Being “Dogged” by Criticism

In an unusual admission today, the Obama Administration doubled down on support for higher gas prices.  According to Press Secretary Jay Carney, the Administration became concerned after hearing reports of how Republican Presidential hopeful and former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney had driven on a family vacation with the family dog in a cage strapped to the roof of the car.  “Having a dog in a cage reduces vehicle fuel economy,” stated Carney.  “With higher gas prices, people will think twice about reducing their mileage with that kind of aerodynamic drag.  Our Nobel Prize-winning Energy Secretary showed us the calculations, and they blew us away.  This could be the biggest thing since the President’s suggestion from the 2008 campaign to have everyone inflate their tires properly.”

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton joined the press briefing to add her own support to Administration policy.  “Once Bill and I were in the car and I got mad at him for buying a dozen Big Macs.  I hadn’t thrown more than three of them out the window before we got into an argument.  The next thing I knew he had pulled this big cage out of the trunk, stuffed me into it, and strapped it to the roof.  If you think being on a car roof while on a trip to Canada was bad enough, you should try being in Arkansas during the summer!

“All this time I was wondering why he kept that cage in the trunk among the payoff checks.  I should have known better than to believe Bill when he winked and said it was for cigar boxes.”

Vice President Joe Biden, ever the one to be sensitive to Asian people, added that he had a practical solution to keep the dog occupied during long road trips.  “In honor of the Secretary of Energy, we have provided stimulus money to one of our generous donors to develop a ‘Chu toy.’  Get it?”

Cross-posted to Virginia Virtucon

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Tim Kaine Presents Birth Control Compromise

Flushed with Pride

Virginia U.S. Senate candidate and former Governor and Tim Kaine (D) has presented an idea that he is sure will satisfy the Catholic church over new regulations promulgated by the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) that require employers to provide abortion and birth control coverage in health insurance policies. Kaine proposes to close highway rest stops across the nation, and use the money saved to fund birth control pills and abortifacents for those employees of institutions that have moral objections to paying for health insurance policies that provide these products and services. “I am demonstrating how my leadership in Virginia transportation issues can benefit the nation,” said Kaine in a brief statement. “Not only will we achieve important political goals, but this compromise will cut the budget and benefit the environment as well.”

The White House was cautiously optimistic about Kaine’s proposal. “Tim Kaine knows a lot about traveling around as he did so much of that while he was Chairman of the Democratic National Committee during his term as Virginia Governor,” said a spokesman. “Since he has been such a vocal supporter of the President’s health care law, we are glad that he is always willing to help impose all its sizeable mandates.”

The campaign of former Senator George Allen (R) had not comment on Kaine’s proposal. However, it is believed that the National Republican Senatorial Committee will present ads showing how Kaine’s ideas are still quite costive.

Cross-posted at Virginia Virtucon.