House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), stung by criticism of her demands for a large plane to carry her to and from California, has entered the Virginia transportation debate. The Speaker is apparently dissatisfied with the inconvenience of having to go to a distant airport to pick up her “ride home,” so instead she is examining a closer alternative.
According to sources who would rather not be identified, Pelosi would like to step out of her office in the Capitol and jet home. In order to do this, she plans to pave over the entire National Mall with a runway and widen Interstate 66 to twelve lanes to accommodate her aircraft. Engineering design estimates show that she would need only a ten-lane road, but “the Speaker is now thinking of getting a 747 jet” to carry her, her friends, family, and supporters. “You can’t have the 757. What happens if she has a couple more grandchildren she needs to trot before the cameras?”
Speaker Pelosi will still allow for vehicle traffic on I-66. Governor Tim Kaine is urging her not to take off or land during rush hour, but “you never know what national emergency might require her to fly out on a Friday afternoon.”
Freshman Senator James Webb (D-VA) is reportedly ecstatic about the idea. “Since Nancy Pelosi will have the pilot and several crew with her on the aircraft, she will never violate High Occupancy Vehicle (HOV) restrictions. This shows how she is one of the people and not just some fatcat.”