Tuesday, September 08, 2015

Repairing Hillary’s Image

Real Ideas You Won’t Find Anywhere Else
This morning, we heard on WMAL that the New York Times ran an article on the problem with former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton’s campaign, and how her campaign is trying to change her image to being one of a more fun and spontaneous person.  In the spirit of bipartisanship, we would like to lend our assistance to this effort with our suggestions.
  • Hillary Clinton should just “get drunk and be somebody.”  We should probably watch the amount imbibed so she doesn’t become a “mean drunk” (since she is pretty mean sober).  Then again, maybe she is nicer the drunker she is.  Per haps her good friend Terry McAuliffe can suggest an array of libations, since he says he likes to go out to drink for important government business.

  • We all know that Bill Clinton comes across as a fun and spontaneous person.  Perhaps Hillary should try to “borrow” from her husband’s playbook.  In this case, it might involve Huma, Mr. Huma, and maybe Sid Vicious.

(At this point, we will refrain from providing details as we are trying to keep this blog family-friendly.)
  • Unfortunately, Hillary is about her most natural when riding a broomstick.  Perhaps she can leverage this into an advantage.  Besides, she is unlikely to win Kansas.  Don’t throw water on her as it might dissolve her as well as mess up her newest hairdo.
  • Hillary can empathize with us poor slobs by doing radio traffic reports.  She may have just the serious, sarcastic voice to pull this off!  Besides, her broomstick can fly in more weather conditions than the standard traffic helicopter.
  • Another idea is for Hillary Clinton to take a page from Wisconsin Governor Scott Walker and pose on a motorcycle.  Put a leather outfit on Hillary and it is clear she has the “build” for a Harley.  All that leather is bound to excite a certain segment of her supporters, especially a certain former leftist blogger we can all think of.  In addition, by wearing the helmet, she can only improve her looks.  Of course, the helmet will likely mess up her hairdo.
  • But then again, Hillary Clinton is never going to change who she is.  Instead of the latest “look du jour,” why not present the real person?  Her slavishly-devoted friends at the New York Times and MSLSD could probably make boring fake feminist killjoy the new cool, “in” thing, and you are nothing but a hateful racist misogynist if you don’t get with the program!
Remember, you read it here first!

Cross-posted at Virginia Virtucon