Tuesday, November 24, 2009

New Marsden Campaign Song

At This Rate, He Won’t Be “King of the Vote”

Thanks to Riley and BVBL for the inspiration.

So it turns out that Delegate David Marsden (D-41) has rented a little hovel so he can try to run for the State Senate Seat being vacated by Attorney General-elect Ken Cuccinelli. When I saw this news, a classic old song came to mind. You really don’t need to change the lyrics in the first verse, either!

Trailers for sale or rent
Rooms to let, fifty cents.
No phone, no pool, no pets
I ain't got no cigarettes
Ah, but . . . two hours of pushin' broom
Buys a . . . eight by twelve four-bit room
I'm a man of means by no means
King of the road.

Here is a comic version of the song featuring Dean Martin and Roger Miller:

You can also see a mash-up of the original Roger Miller song here:

Anyone who wants to have fun writing a parody, be my guest!

Thursday, November 19, 2009

37th District Primary Avoided!

Result of Stimulus Spending

In a surprise announcement, the Fairfax County Republican Committee said that a primary was no longer needed for Virginia’s 37th Senatorial District to replace Attorney General-elect Ken Cuccinelli. “Thanks to the stimulus, we have extra Congressional districts, so two of the Republican candidates can run for those and leave the State Senate seat clear for the third candidate,” according to an announcement at the FCRC meeting. “One will be the 37th Congressional District, and the second one has yet to be given a number. It is possible that it will be three digits.”

The extra Congressional districts are believed to be the work of Democratic National Committee Chairman and part-time Virginia Governor Tim Kaine. “I am doing this only in part as a favor to Governor-elect Bob McDonnell,” said Kaine. “But before you raise your eyebrows too much, don’t just think that this is meant to benefit Republicans. Believe me, we’ll move someone into those districts to challenge the Republicans as well.”

Kaine added, “I initially pushed to create the extra districts for Creigh Deeds, Jody Wagner, and Steve Shannon. Jody has already snagged the ‘Zeroth’ district. I even wanted to designate a district for Leslie Byrne, but she just told me ‘Been there, done that.’”

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Coming Soon to the HOV Lane?

“Clean, Special Fuel,” No Doubt!

Hat tip: Auto Blog Green

Rolls-Royce hybrid

So will someone try to make the case that they can drive this thing alone during rush hour on Interstate 66? Clearly, this is the perfect car for committed environmentalists like Barack Obama, Al Gore, and Mark Warner!

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Exclusive: Tim Kaine to Run for Cuccinelli’s Senate Seat

You Won’t Read this Stuff Anywhere Else

In a surprise move, outgoing Governor Tim Kaine announced that he was going to run as the Democratic candidate for the State Senate seat being vacated by Attorney General-Elect Ken Cuccinelli. Kaine said, “No Democrats who live in the District seem to be up to the job, and even the others just outside the District are pretty weak. Since I have won District 37 in the past, I am the best positioned candidate to win this seat.”

Kaine pointed out other advantages of the seat for himself. “Now that I am Chairman of the Democratic Party, I have to travel a lot. Dulles Airport is pretty close to District 37. I have a much better choice of flights from Dulles than from Richmond. Besides, as a State Senator, I have just the kind of part time job that suits my travel schedule. I will also be close to Washington, where I can go and take orders from the White House and from my labor union donors. I think I will have a better choice of places to go to trim my eyebrows, also.”

Local Democrats have learned to accept Kaine’s decision. “Honestly, looking for a another house is such a pain,” said Del. David Marsden (D-41). “Let Kaine deal with moving.” Former Democratic candidate Janet Oleszek said, “Initially, I was upset that I was discouraged from running. Now I am excited to see Tim Kaine in the area so I can make him waffles!” Kaine noted that outgoing Del. Chuck Caputo (D-67) was the most welcoming. “He is sharing many colorful cruise catalogs with me. I had no idea he enjoyed these things!” said Kaine.

Local Republicans reacted guardedly. “Clearly, Kaine is seen as a carpetbagger, but he is not originally from Virginia anyway,” said a spokesman for the Fairfax County Republican Committee. “But we welcome Governor Kaine to the area anyway. This way, he too can experience how well his promises on improving transportation in our area have worked.”