Fresh off its attacks on Senator Barack Obama, leaked information from Sen. Hillary Clinton’s (D-NY) campaign reveal that Congressman Dennis Kucinich (D-OH) is actually an extraterrestrial.
“We’ve accumulated some interesting evidence against Kucinich,” said an unnamed Clinton aide. “First of all, he appeals to the conspiracy theorist base of the Party. He also attended a Mars-drassa, and his ideas seem to come straight out of Uranus. Lastly, we think we can hammer Kucinich on being an extraterrestrial by pointing out that he is from Cleveland.”
Other 2008 Democratic hopefuls are working feverishly to inoculate themselves against more Clinton spin machine attacks. The Clintonistas are believed to be combing the pages of Daily Kos postings to find accusations of Christianity, Judaism, or other unacceptable upbringings against potential Democratic opponents. “Once we find them, they are as good as crucified” said the Clinton aide.