Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Blog-iversary!

Yes, it's the 5th anniversary of the Isophorone Blog. As time goes by I seem to post less and less here. That's life. It's also my birthday, and a big one.

Here's something interesting: I was reading a Dr. Seuss book to my younger son, and there was a creature in the book called a "Blogg." Maybe he was ahead of his time!

Monday, October 10, 2011

A Real Lemon of an Endorsement

Recently, Steve Spiker posted at NoVA Common Sense about the Washington Post’s endorsement of John Cook over Janet Oleszek for Braddock District Supervisor in Fairfax County. With all due respect to Steve and the rest of my friends there, I must register my emphatic disagreement. You may find this surprising, particularly on this blog, but when you read my reasoning, I think you will understand.

You and the Post completely miss the point here. Janet Oleszek is the only candidate who can bring ZESTY LEMON BARS to the Fairfax Board of Supervisors. Ask yourself -- how have we been able to get along so well in Fairfax without ZESTY LEMON BARS. When Oleszek was on the School Board between 2003 and 2007, she was 100% committed to bringing ZESTY LEMON BARS to the School Board to do her part to add to the conversation on important school quality issues.

In fact, Janet Oleszek makes ZESTY LEMON BARS an important part of the diet of her campaign manager, a person who is not smart enough to boil an egg, so he does not suffer from carbohydrate or cholesterol deficiencies (which are highly underreported health problems in this country). Do you see the Washington Post taking about these kinds of challenges? NO! Then again, this is the same kind of corrupt newspaper that chooses not to report about Janet Oleszek's ZESTY LEMON BARS.

So remember, if you are a Fairfax County resident who is only concerned about "constituent service, able representation, and someone attempting to represent the whole of the district and not just their friends," go ahead and vote for John Cook. But if you want to add a new "flavor" to the Board of Supervisors with ZESTY LEMON BARS, then you should vote for Janet Oleszek.


Cross-posted at Virginia Virtucon.

Friday, September 09, 2011

Obama Speech as Borscht Belt Comedy Routine

Much shorter version, too! Pardon the Portuguese translation in this video:

Friday, July 22, 2011

Little Known Reason for Budget Talk Collapse

“Forced to Read the Bill”

Budget talks between the White House and Congressional Republicans broke down on July 22 due to a “different vision” of the pending legislation. More importantly, President Obama was angered not only by the Republican “cut, cap, and balance” debt reduction plan, but also by the insistence by Speaker John Boehner (R-OH) that the President actually read the legislation.

“This is perfectly unfair,” the President was heard to storm at aides behind closed doors. “My old pastor Jeremiah Wright used to call these kinds of demands ‘chutzpah!’ We managed perfectly well for two years without having to read any laws. Now these Republicans want me to read what they write? For that matter, read what I write? I never had to read a thing at Occidental, Columbia, or at Harvard Law School. Good thing, too, because I never understood that sh*t.

“It’s bad enough what has been happening to my eyesight since I took office. My golf game is going to hell. If I have to read hundreds of pages of laws that I sign, I’ll have to get new glasses. Michelle says that I will look like a black version of Eric Cantor, and she’s taking away the cigarettes and milk shakes!”

Asked by reporters about the disagreement over the budget, White House spokesman Jay Carney said that “The President shows leadership by not reading. If you want to read, go join some tea party!”

A bipartisan group of Senators , led by Frank Lautenberg (D-NJ) and Richard Lugar (R-IN), also including Daniel Inouye (D-HI), Daniel Akaka (D-HI), Dianne Feinstein (D-CA), and Chuck Grassley (R-IA) has pitched in to help. This “Gang of Sick,” representing the oldest members of the U.S. Senate, indicated their willingness to help President Obama with his reading problems. “We remember when Strom Thurmond and Robert Byrd were alive,” said Lautenberg, 87. It was tough for those old coots to read just about anything, and let’s just say that our bladders don’t give us a lot of room for endurance. It’s damn hard dragging six-inch thick draft bills to the toilet, especially when you have a walker. Now where was I again . . .?”

Talks may resume this weekend or early next week. “Sasha and Malia have volunteered to help,” said Obama. “I trust their perspective more than anyone’s. Not only can they read stuff for me, but maybe they can help me with my negotiating skills. Former President Carter called me and told me to enlist my girls to help, and I think that is excellent advice.”


Cross-posted at Virginia Virtucon

Monday, June 20, 2011

Friday, April 22, 2011

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Kaine Advises Obama on Libya

“Dictator Sure to Be Flushed Out”

Democratic National Committee Chairman and former Virginia Governor Tim Kaine is offering President Obama advice on how to deal with the situation in Libya. “The President should take a cue from my actions in Virginia,” said Kaine. “All we need to do is close all the rest stops on the highways. Since the dictator, Moammar Qadhdhafi surrounds himself with female guards, they will be pissed (pardon the pun) that they cannot stop to freshen up along the roads. They will overthrow Qadhdhafi, and we will not have to fire a shot. This is in keeping with President Obama’s goal of wanting to use ‘non-military means’ against the dictator, as a way of providing support to the rebels there.”

Kaine said that he tried to approach retiring Senator Jim Webb with this idea, but “mysteriously” did not get a hearing. Perhaps my ideas to not mesh well with his ‘Born Fighting’ image,” said Kaine.

President Obama is said to be considering Kaine’s ideas very seriously. “Former Governor Kaine’s ideas have certain raised my eyebrows. He’s not as nasty and pushy as Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. Also, I used to get a lot of foreign policy advice from Vice President Biden, but he has been nowhere to be seen recently,” said the President. “It’s like someone has locked him in a closet or something.”

Cross-posted at Virginia Virtucon

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Madonna, With a Twang

"Like a Prayer" covered by Sugarland and Little Big Town:

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Facebook Warning

Tomorrow Facebook will change its privacy settings to allow Mark Zuckerberg to come into your house while you sleep and eat your brains with a sharpened spoon. To stop this from happening, go to Account> Home Invasion Settings> Cannibalism> Brains, and uncheck the "Tasty" box.

Cross posted at Virginia Virtucon.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Coming to Theaters April 15

Because it’s the author’s wedding anniversary, didn’t you know? ;)

The trailer is out! What do you think?