Biden Seeks to Shift Blame

Howard Dean Forced to Step In

After facing a barrage of criticism over his remarks characterizing Senator Barack Obama (D-IL) as “bright and clean and a nice-looking guy,” Sen. Joseph Biden (D-DE) has asked the public to understand his perspective a little better.

“You must understand,” said Biden, “that I come from Delaware, home to DuPont Chemicals. Believe me, I strive for being in a clean atmosphere. I am sure research will show that the global warming started by use of their products may be a factor in several of my previous controversial remarks. I will attach legislation requiring the Environmental Protection Agency to deliver a report to us in the coming year on this very topic.”

Biden went on to describe the atmosphere in Congress as a factor as well. “Have you had to work closely with Byrd, Kennedy, and Dodd? I mean, these guys are called ‘old farts’ for a reason! Then there’s Hillary Clinton. You know that there’s always something that smells fishy about her. So it should not surprise you that I meant no disrespect to Sen. Obama when I described him as clean.”

Reaction came swiftly from Clinton’s office: “As a lifelong New Yorker, I can say that to describe any politician from Chicago, particularly a Democrat, as ‘clean’ is highly insulting. Perhaps our colleague from Delaware is a little out of touch with big-city realities being from such a small State.”

Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean has gotten into the act. He is quoted as saying, “Just as Ronald Reagan had an Eleventh Commandment not to speak ill of fellow Republicans, we shall have a Twelfth Commandment to prevent this kind of incident in the future. From now on, ‘Thou shalt not speak well of a fellow Democrat.’”