Fearless Predictions for “24”

Inspired by IMAO

At the end of last year’s season, Jack Bauer was on a slow boat to China. Well, Jack manages to escape, jump off the ship and winds up lost. In fact, he is so lost, he winds up on “Lost,” on a totally different network!

Meanwhile, Jack the doctor is brought in to treat Jack Bauer. Jack the doc uses Bauer’s knowledge (while Bauer is delirious) to get off the island and get to CTU. The people at CTU are curious about the appearance of the new Jack, but they are told that being lost at sea gave Jack a good tan.

Doctor Jack is in a precarious position. He wants his friends rescued, but doesn’t want Jack Bauer to come back and reclaim this seemingly fun job. Besides, doctor Jack finally has a better choice of women, some of whom do not have a criminal record (and at CTU, Jack can look it up).

Meanwhile, back at the island, Jack tries to infiltrate the “Others.” During that time, the island is visited by strange men in yellow feather suits, a big orange furry blob, and a kindly old man in a cardigan sweater. Almost too late, Jack Bauer (with help from John Locke and the formerly-TV-addicted Hurley) realizes that these are Big Bird, Elmo, and Mr. Rogers! The whole crew on the island is about to be taken from their current purgatory to eternal damnation on Public Television. Jack goes into a state of confusion with so many changes of network. He then has to stop the Korean guy from defecting to the PBS crew since the opportunity to learn English is a powerful draw. He vies with Sawyer for Kate’s affections.

Meanwhile, back at CTU, one of the new programmers is able to backtrack doctor Jack’s journey and put it together with the story of the still missing aircraft from “Lost.” The White House gets involved because the Federal Communications Commission can’t resolve the conflict between two major networks. As it turns out, the Chinese Communists may be involved with PBS, thus making the lives of the two Jacks finally intersect again.

In Federal prison, President Logan rubs his hands gleefully. Revenge is going to be sweet, he is thinking . . .

Pelosi Exempts Girl Scout Cookie Manufacturers from Minimum Wage Hike

Stung by Republican charges of hypocrisy, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi now claims she wants to expand the exemption to the minimum wage to manufacturers of Girl Scout Cookies. Speaking to journalists sandwiched into a Capitol Hill briefing room, a thinly-minted spokeswoman said that the Speaker was trying to promote opportunities for young women. She denied that Pelosi was trying to “butter” anyone up.

However, House Republicans became quite skeptical. Now, it looks like Speaker Pelosi has gotten herself into more trouble, as Congressman Eric Cantor (R-VA) has pointed out that she has quite a fetish for “Samoas.” "The Democratic majority has demonstrated to the American people how they are unable to think outside of the box," he said.

Where Do I Sign Up?

A Virginia State Senator is proposing a bill to give children with disabilities up to $10,000 a year in educational vouchers.

The Tuition Assistance Grant Program for Students with Disabilities would give
parents money depending on the severity of their child's disability.
Grants would be available to families with students who
have spent at least one year in public schools by 2008.
"It's not an effort to compete with public schools,"
said Sen. Walter A. Stosch, Henrico Republican and the bill's sponsor. "It's
just a way for them to get specialized training that may not always be available
in a public school." Changes to the Neighborhood
Assistance Act would make permanent the $3 million tax-credit program, limited
to two years under the current budget, he said. The
program is expected to generate $9 million in private funds, later channeled to
private, nonsectarian schools serving the disabled, Mr. Stosch said.
In Virginia, disabled public-school students are taught
using individualized education plans, or IEPs, which are crafted to meet a
student's unique needs.

So wait, why are sectarian schools precluded from providing the same services? I mean, they may have very qualified people to deal with these kinds of students. Isn't that discrimination against religion?

Now I do understand the logic. Education of special needs students is quite expensive, costing many jurisdictions well above $10,000 per year. A private organization can likely do a better job than the public schools. Note how the union representatives quoted near the end of the article can't stand the thought that someone might do a better job than they.

A few years ago I read that the city of Washington, DC does send "special ed" kids to private institutions, often costing the city at least $40,000 per year. There was (and maybe still is) actually a waiting list for kids to be classified this way so the kids can get a better education. Knowing DC, the way it will turn out is like this: "The good news is that we can get your child into a private special ed program. The bad news is that this will take twelve years!" LOL

While we're at it, why is it only for students with disabilities? Why not give all of us $10,000 per year? Heck, I'd probably settle for less than that, and my property taxes would go down significantly! My oldest was in a religious preschool for two years, and he is blitzing through the reading material the public school kindergarten teachers give him. He is also doing an amazing job doing mathematical conversions (feet to inches and ounces to pounds) in his head.

It's almost tempting to coach my sons into having disabilities, but I would want to send them to religious day school. Hey, it's worth the cost of a few batches of my raspberry brownies, isn't it?

So how much can I make with this blogging? Enough to pay the religous school tuition?

Elementary Thoughts

Note to readers:

You may notice one of my links is to a web page called Commonwealth Conservative. This page used to host a caption contest, and I would let my six-year-old son comment on the pictures on the page (starting when he was five). He got some good honorable mentions and some notice in the Virginia blogosphere. So anyway, without further adieu, here are his thoughts for today:

The junior high school kids watch video games. The trees fall. Our house has a globe and then we have Hot Wheels. This is all!

Two Views of a Surge

Wall Street Journal article

Victor Davis Hanson in National Review Online

We seem to have heard a lot of “go” word” options recently: Go long, go deep, go wide, go home, and now, it seems, go smart. I seem to pick up a common thread of letting the fight against the terrorists be more aggressive, and to communicate success better. Now I admit to never having been in the military, but I can understand if those who are serving in Iraq are frustrated by rules of engagement that limit their actions.

One thing that has been very frustrating to me is the fact that the Administration does not do a very good job communicating successes. “What? There are successes?” a lot of people ask. Yes, it’s just that the news is buried in Department of Defense web pages or web logs devoted to the cause. Big, fat, hairy deal. The President needs to get out in front of that microphone and talk directly to the American people about how major milestones are being met, how we are helping the people in Iraq, and how we are wiping out terrorists.

Somewhere along the line the Administration will have to deal with Iran. Getting rid of the mad mullahs will go a long way to reducing the violence in Iraq, Afghanistan, and elsewhere. As I see it, they can let the Israelis do damage to Iran’s nuclear facilities, we can do some ourselves, and most of all, we need to support the domestic opposition there. We learned in the 1980s that keeping enough pressure on the Sandinistas forced them to have an open and honest election, which the opposition won with 70% of the vote. That’s a good lesson for today!

Screw the French and Russians if they don’t agree!

Good Riddance to Bad Rubbish

Burn in hell, Saddam!

Speaking of which, here is a stupid joke for you all --

What did Saddam read before he was hanged?

The NOOSEpaper!

Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

UN Condemns Ethiopia

The United Nations today overwhelmingly condemned Ethiopia for its “aggressive actions” against Somalia’s Islamist occupiers. According to a Security Council Statement, “Ethiopia acted without the permission of the Security Council and didn’t even consult France. They are also being victorious without permission” The United States voted against the resolution, prompting several Senate Democrats to denounce outgoing Ambassador John Bolton for “trying to stick his mustache into the nose of Africa.”

Reaction was swift from Iran and the Arab League. According to a spokesman, Yasir al-Goatfuqr, “Ethiopia is in a conspiracy with the Zionists to deny the basic rights to Moslems. Look at how all these Jews came from Ethiopia. They are one and the same.”

Various American antiwar groups were not as enthusiastic to protest at this point. “Well, for one thing, these Ethiopians don’t look Jewish,” said Oregon protest leader Daryl Oshitnik. “Besides, I gotta go see ‘An Inconvenient Truth’ for the 25th time. Don’t tell my Mom, though. She thinks I am applying for a job at Wendys. As IF!!!”

Rosie and The Donald Have Crushes on Each Other!

Hat tips: Hot Air and Ace of Spades

Child psychologists who are studying the recent flap between Rosie O’Donnell and Donald Trump now theorize that both celebrities are exhibiting “delayed onset of childhood crush syndrome.”

“Rosie O’Donnell’s remarks to Donald Trump just show all of us how a hairpiece never goes grey,” said noted psychiatrist Val Ritalin. “Similarly, The Donald did not get all ‘wigged out’ at Rosie’s comments. Referring to someone as unpleasant, unattractive, and overweight (not to mention threats of litigation) really means that deep down, Trump is hoping to marry O’Donnell some day. I’m willing to bet that we will see a large rose adorning the Trump Towers in the near future.”

A spokesperson for Trump pointed out that, in another ten years when he is ready for a fourth wife, Rosie O’Donnell would be “far different from anyone he has been with before. They would complement each other in ways never before anticipated.”

No official comment was available from Rosie O’Donnell, but an anonymous source at “The View” said that “Rosie could put quite a crush on The Donald, that’s for sure.”

A June 2018 wedding is planned.

White People!

Now that I’ve gotten your attention . . . ;)

Hat tip: Phi Beta Cons

On April 18-21, 2007, the University of Colorado at Colorado Springs is hosting a White Privilege Conference. The conference is described as “a yearly opportunity to examine and explore difficult issues related to white privilege, white supremacy and oppression. WPC provides a forum for critical discussions about diversity, multicultural education and leadership, social justice, race/racism, sexual orientation, gender relations, religion and other systems of privilege/oppression. WPC is recognized as a challenging, empowering and educational experience. The workshops, keynotes and institutes not only inform participants, but engage and challenge them, while providing practical tips and strategies for combating inequality.”

I gotta tell you, I shake my head at this stuff. First of all, what does whiteness have to do with topics such as sexual orientation or the oppression of gays? Second of all, do these guys realize just how silly this sounds? Imagine, this is the eighth such conference, according to the web site. They don’t list this year’s sponsors yet, but wouldn’t we all like to know what the source of the money is? (My guess: Direct or indirect government funding as well as forced union dues.)

This reminds me of an incident at a government agency back in 2000 (ironically, just when the first “White Privilege Conference” might have taken place). This particular agency decided to pay some diversity consultants to put on a course called “White Folks and Diversity.” Yeah, you read that right. Here is the description:

“White folks often want to participate equally with people of color in creating a multicultural work environment, yet are unsure of their place in it. To participate equally, whites need an awareness of white culture with its strengths and weaknesses, as a component of a multicultural workplace. It is also necessary for whites to learn how to be better allies with people of color in creating positive change. These sessions will raise white awareness and improve allyship [sic] of participants in an interactive and engaging way. Topics which will be covered include:

“The value if white awareness in the workplace and the values of white culture.

“How to be allies and equal partners with people of color in the creation of a multicultural community.”

The announcement of this particular course somehow found its way into the Washington Times’ “Inside the Beltway” column. In response, embarassed officials at the agency in question changed the name of the course to “Whites and Diversity.” Remember who was President in 2000?

What is also interesting is that the “facilitators” for this course also happened to be graduates of the University of Colorado (Boulder). Small world, isn’t it?

By the way, they are looking for someone to sponsor a Shabbat dinner.

Now you have completed your diversity training requirement for the year! :)

“Flabby, Inefficient, Outdated”

This is a title of an op-ed piece by New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg in today’s Wall Street Journal. (As of this writing, it is not a free link.) Now I don’t necessarily agree with Mayor Bloomberg on a lot of things, but when it comes to education, he seems to understand just how dysfunctional public school systems have become.

Here is the first paragraph:

“Today a bipartisan commission of high-profile academic, government, business and labor leaders selected by the National Center on Education and the Economy (NCEE) will release a report that provides a sobering assessment of our nation’s education system: Only 18 out of 100 high-school freshmen will graduate on time, enroll directly in college and earn a two-year degree in three years or a four-year degree in six. Just 18!” [Emphasis added.]

(Note: I realize that some kids enter the military right after high school, and they may be included in the 72% who don’t get college degrees within ten years of completing high school. No disrespect intended towards members of any uniformed service.)

I was thinking about this today. Let’s look at another sobering issue concerning the youth of today: How many will grow up in a stable, two-parent family from birth to age 18? Given that close to one out of three children are born out of wedlock and that 50% of all marriages end in divorce, my guess is that the answer to my question is less than 50%. If you have an accurate number, please let me know. (Yes, I understand that some kids are orphaned, too.)

Let’s say the answer to this question is 40 out of 100. Now, I am guessing that out of that number, more than 18% meet the criteria of graduating from high school on time and earning an associate’s degree within seven years of entering high school or a bachelor’s degree within ten years. Conversely, I am guessing that of those high school freshmen who graduate on time and complete college education and earn those college degrees within seven or ten years, more than 40% come from stable, two-parent families.

I wonder if there are any statistics correlating stable marriages and education.

While I was preparing to type this blog entry I had this evil thought: Someone will write a dystopian novel in which good students are “outsourced.” That is, schools will become so desperate to enroll good students that they will import them from overseas (e.g., India or China) rather than enroll domestically-born kids. Maybe poorly-behaved kids will get “deported” to other countries as a form of banishment.

Maybe I think too much! ;)

Sea-Tac Airport Christmas Tree Issues Resolved

Officials at the Seattle-Tacoma International Airport have resolved issues related to the removal of nine Christmas trees instead of the addition of a menorah as a rabbi had requested. Under the new compromise plan, a giant Hanukkah menorah will be erected with each of the nine Christmas trees fitted to each branch of the candelabra. The tallest of the trees will be designated the "shamash."

The Sea-Tac Airport Authority realizes that other religious and spiritual groups will want recognition as well. As a result, it has issued the following decrees:

1. Native groups will be able to carve "totem pole" symbols on the menorah and the trees.
2. Environmentalists can perform interpretive dance while dressed in "Garbage Gremlin" outfits.
3. All religious clergy will be required to dress in "grunge" outfits.
4. All worshippers, regardless of denomination, will bow down to the "Starbucks Mermaid."
5. Washington State wines will be available for purchase.
6. Guides will be made available to confused travelers from California to inform them that no, they did not fly into San Francisco by accident.
7. A representative of CAIR will be on hand to throw rocks and burn everything down starting on December 24 and pour the wine down the bathroom sink.

A Politically Correct Hanukkah

Hat Tip: ACLU Nativity Scene

After the death of Alexander the Great, the Middle East was ruled by the Seleucids, and in particular the enlightened ruler Antiochus IV. Although Antiochus tried to introduce multiculturism to the indigenous population, a bunch of religious radicals under the “Maccabee” (Zionist) family armed themselves with dangerous weapons and set about making a pointless war. While Antiochus tried to introduce diversity measures to allow locals to pick their own spiritual fulfillment, the Zionist Maccabees were quite stiff necked and refuse the smallest attempts at compromise.

Oddly enough, the Antiochus Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) started to support these Maccabees, but they stopped when they found out the Maccabee leader, one Mattathias, did not engage in pedophilic behavior with his son Judah. The Maccabees even refused to allow Native American peace pipes on the flimsy grounds that America would not be discovered for another 1,600 years.

After a series of militaristic actions, the Maccabees took over their “Temple” and their true purpose was revealed: They were in search of refined oil. Their claims of shortages were proven hypocritical when, even though they sent a Halliburton exploration team in search of even more profits, the amount they had lasted longer than they thought.

Fortunately, members of an environmental group (“Shalom Yaroq,” or “Peace Green”) had infiltrated the Maccabee organization and managed to encourage energy conservation. They also recorded the Superfund site that the Temple had become and tried to hold the Zionists jointly and severally liable because of environmental justice concerns. Unfortunately, there were right-wing judges that sided with the polluters, and the few Shalom Yaroq activists were brutally massacred by a Maccabee bulldozer.

Today, we celebrate a spiritual Hanukkah in a variety of ways. First of all, we let young people build self-esteem by allowing them to spell the name of the holiday however they see fit, whether it is “Hanukkah,” “Chanukah,” “Christmas,” or “Kwanzaa.” Enlightened teachers use a six-sided top rather than the four-sided dreidel favored by Jewish neocons. On the top, instead of Hebrew letters, there are pictures of Antiochus IV, Confucius, Quetzalcoatl, Leon Trotsky, Nelson Mandela, and Rachel Corrie. The foods are much more nutritious as well. Those fattening jelly doughnuts and fried potato pancakes symbolize a bloodthirsty lust for oil. Nowadays, we have oat-bran muffins or peeled organically-grown potatoes roasted over animal dung and smothered in a special festive tahini-salsa mixture. We do not use the menorah as the “shamash” candle symbolizes inequality. Rather, we burn incense and sing “Koombayah” while eating “magic” muffins.

New Airline to Be Formed

In response to complaints by the Council on American Islamic Relations (CAIR) concerning treatment of imams on a US Airways flight in Minneapolis, CAIR is planning to form a new airline to be called “Air CAIR.” The airline will offer modern flight conveniences in a manner not to be considered offensive to Muslims or their advocates. Features include:

• In flight prayers five times a day
• Portable rugs at ticket counters to be used for pray-in protests at other airlines
• Lots of extra seat belt straps
• No Federal air marshals
• Free Michael Moore movies or pay-per-view beheading and dismemberment videos
• Halal food
• Flight attendants who wear stylish black burqas
• Quran readings before takeoff
• Free hair styling for passengers from Great Britain, Australia, New Zealand, or other “H-deprived” countries
• Guaranteed no pigs, monkeys, or Jews (er, Zionists) on flights

Initial service is expected to start between Detroit, Paris, and Damascus.

Upcoming Event

OK, this is actually a serious scientific conference, but it's still kinda funny:

National Carcass Disposal Symposium 2006

Now, obviously, real sanitation issues exist with animal carcasses, whether they are on farms, roads, large urban areas, etc. Disease and contamination are legitimate environmental concerns, probably more so than things like "global warming." However, some of these session titles may cause the uninitiated to shake their heads a bit:

"Road Kill Composting in Montana - a Seasonal Rotation Approach"

(Can't they just send road kill to Kentucky to make burgoo?)

"Marine Animal Strandings & Carcass Disposal"

(In the Tidewater region of Virginia they call it "Hampton Road Kill.")

"Co-firing Animal - Tissue Biomass in Coal-Fired Boilers to Dispose of Specified Risk Materials and Carcasses: An Overview of a University/Industry Collaboration"

(OK, I thought the whole ethanol fuel additive business was a waste of taxpayers' dollars, but this is ridiculous!)

"On-farm Fermentation of Poultry Carcasses"

(If you fermented cow carcasses, would you be making MOOOOOOnshine?)

So anyway, if you have nothing better to do on December 4-7, 2006, you can hang out in Beltsville, Maryland and learn all this exciting stuff. Sorry, I will not be able to make it.

Happy Anniversary!

Not only is it Thanksgiving, but today is my 10th wedding anniversary. It's hard to believe time flies by so fast.

So anyway, happy anniversary to my wife, who is still as beautiful as she was the day we got married. She has always stood by me, gave me two beautiful boys, calmed my nerves, introduced me to lots of new music and culture, and generally kept me out of trouble. Let's hope and pray for many more.

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone!

Car Maintenance Lessons

I had this great idea that one way to save money is to learn how to do some car maintenance myself instead of going to the stealership. Over the past few months, I have been accumulating tools, manuals, etc. This past weekend, I tried something ambitious -- changing the fuel filter on our 1999 Saturn. There were some important lessons from this endeavor:

1. It's helpful to have a neighbor who is handy and has a lot of tools.
2. NOTHING is as easy as it looks!
3. Some things aren't where the Haynes Manual or the Saturnfans web page say they are.
4. Bolts that have been in place for seven years and 90,000 miles are going to be really difficult to remove, and may very well shear off.
5. If you lie down on a cold, hard, concrete floor for any period of time and do not have a pad, you may experience some back pain for a few days.
6. Make sure the maximum height the floor jack lifts your car is greater than the minimum height of the jack stands you bought.
7. Keep receipts from Sears Hardware, or at least all the original packaging.
8. Gasoline can make your jacket smell.
9. A beginner can jack the car up, support it on stands, and not have it fall on him. Then again, maybe that's beginner's luck.
10. That dirt and grime can stay on your hands for quite a few days, even if you wash them vigorously.
11. Maybe I should try learning to do brakes instead. At least I won't be under the car!
12. It's helpful to have a neighbor who is handy and has a lot of tools.

Bush Considers New U.N. Nominee

Inside sources at the White House are leaking information that President Bush is considering nominating outgoing Maryland Lieutenant Governor Michael Steele as Ambassador to the United Nations. In a closed meeting, the President is rumored to have said, "Well, Michael's mustache is not so ferocious, but he's tall and can squish those North Koreans like bugs."

The White House may note other positive attributes of nominating Steele, such as his appeal to many different ethnic groups, his legal background, and perceived ease of achieving confirmation in the Senate. The White House has been looking for a way to placate Steele after denying him the top spot at the Republican National Committee. However, a White House aide sums up what may be the real motivation for nominating Steele: "That dog of his is going to scare the merde out of the French."

Democrats Channel Henry A. Wallace

Senate and House Democrats, fearing the advice they received from former Senator George McGovern was “too militaristic,” today decided to call upon the spirit of Vice President Henry A. Wallace (1888 – 1965). According to sources, Henry Wallace provided the best example to them in dealing with foreign threats. “The idealism Henry A. Wallace expressed during the 1940s serves as an example to the entire Democratic Caucus,” future House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was heard to say. “His willingness to negotiate with Josef Stalin gives us a strong precedent to open negotiations with Iran. We also plan to seek his counsel on health care policy.”

Not all members of the Democratic Caucus were happy initially. Representative-Elect Keith Ellison (D-MN) expressed outrage over the glorification of “a Southern segregationist.” Eventually, he had to be taken aside and told that Henry Wallace was not to be confused with former Alabama Governor George Wallace, and that Henry Wallace had originally been from Iowa. “Well, you learn something new every day.”

Coming Back to Life

Hi everyone!

Sorry I haven't posted for a week, but things have been pretty busy. I did my volunteer work at the polls (in a lot of rain). I had more volunteers than my Dem counterparts, and Frank Wolf (R-VA-10) won in my precinct and his re-election. The Virginia Marriage Amendment passed got the biggest vote in my precinct and won statewide, 57 - 43%. George Allen lost (narrowly) in my precinct and his re-election, apparently. The basic upshot is that I've been busy, followed by being tired, followed by being depressed.

So anyway, I've been piecing together what happened. It's not like I am as "learned" as those paid pundits, but still, I got to get this out of my system just like everyone else. So what do we have?

1. The six-year curse. It hits everyone (except Bill Clinton, right?)
2. The scandals. Yes, Abramoff didn't do anyone any favors, and neither did Mark Foley or Randy "Duke" Cunningham. From some of the trends I was reading, the President and the Republicans were rising in public approval before the Foley scandal hit. The GOP never really recovered, or whatever happened was too little too late (even with John Kerry's gaffe).
3. The war. Yeah, people are weary. A lot of debate is going on about how right or wrong outgoing Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld has been. We will have to look back in another ten years to decide. However, this is one area in which I put some blame on the press. Our troops and supporting civilians have done heroic work over in Iraq and have gotten precious little recognition from the mainstream media. You have to be insane political junkies like us just to know where to look. Well, we saw the results, didn't we?

Today's Wall Street Journal had an interesting opinion piece by former Congressman Dick Armey (now chairman of Freedomworks). He talked about how the GOP had lost its purpose from when it was elected in 1994. Here is a great passage:

Eventually, the policy innovators and the "Spirit of '94" were largely replaced by political bureaucrats driven by a narrow vision. Their question became: How do we hold onto political power? The aberrant behavior and scandals that ended up defining the Republican majority in 2006 were a direct consequence of this shift in choice criteria from policy to political power.

Nowhere was this turn more evident than in the complete collapse of fiscal discipline in the budgeting process. For most Republican candidates, fiscal responsibility is our political bread and butter. No matter how voters view other, more divisive issues from abortion to stem-cell research, Republicans have traditionally enjoyed a clear advantage with a majority of Americans on basic pocketbook issues. "We will spend your money carefully and we will keep your taxes low." That was our commitment. This year, no incumbent Republican (even those who fought for restraint) could credibly make that claim. The national vision--less government and lower taxes--was replaced with what Jack Abramoff infamously called his "favor factory." One Republican leader actually defended a questionable appropriation of taxpayer dollars, saying it was a reasonable price to pay for holding a Republican seat. What was most remarkable was not even the admission itself, but that it was acknowledged so openly. Wasn't that the attitude we were fighting against in 1994?

I would take what he said another step: Growing government does not endear anyone, not even the beneficiaries, to Republicans. All the Republicans have managed to do is enrich bureaucrats, grantees, and contractors, who in turn lean Democratic. Republicans need to shrink government not only to reduce taxes, cut unnecessary regulations, and to boost the economy, but also to cut off the left financially.

When will we ever learn? Let's hope we don't have to wait 40 years to get another chance!

Kerry Is so Very . . .

. . . in charge of a few things if the Democrats win a Senate majority. Here is a list of his committee assignments from his own Senate web page:

Committee on Finance
Subcommittees

• Health Care
• Social Security and Family Policy
• Long-term Growth and Debt Reduction Ranking Member

Committee on Small Business Committee, Ranking Member

Commerce, Science and Transportation
Subcommittees

• Fisheries and the Coast Guard
• Trade, Tourism, and Economic Development
• Technology, Innovation, and Competitiveness Ranking Member
• Global Climate Change and Impacts
• National Ocean Policy Study

Committee on Foreign Relations
Subcommittees

• East Asian and Pacific Affairs Ranking Member
• International Economic Policy, Export and Trade Promotion
• International Operations and Terrorism
• Western Hemisphere, Peace Corps, and Narcotics Affairs

So for every Senate Committee or Subcommittee in which Kerry is listed as Ranking Member, John Kerry potentially becomes Chairman. Now admittedly, he has less potential to do damage compared with many of his other Democratic Senate colleagues, but do you even want to trust him with this much policy responsibility? Kerry in charge of debt reduction, small business, innovation and competitiveness, or East Asian policy? Spare us!

One other thought: I wonder what Teddy Kennedy (or, for that matter, Teresa) thinks of Kerry's use of the term "doughy." Aren't portly Americans going to take offense? And what about WWI veterans and their families?