For Your Musical Entertainment

Kaine Advises Obama on Libya

“Dictator Sure to Be Flushed Out”

Democratic National Committee Chairman and former Virginia Governor Tim Kaine is offering President Obama advice on how to deal with the situation in Libya. “The President should take a cue from my actions in Virginia,” said Kaine. “All we need to do is close all the rest stops on the highways. Since the dictator, Moammar Qadhdhafi surrounds himself with female guards, they will be pissed (pardon the pun) that they cannot stop to freshen up along the roads. They will overthrow Qadhdhafi, and we will not have to fire a shot. This is in keeping with President Obama’s goal of wanting to use ‘non-military means’ against the dictator, as a way of providing support to the rebels there.”

Kaine said that he tried to approach retiring Senator Jim Webb with this idea, but “mysteriously” did not get a hearing. Perhaps my ideas to not mesh well with his ‘Born Fighting’ image,” said Kaine.

President Obama is said to be considering Kaine’s ideas very seriously. “Former Governor Kaine’s ideas have certain raised my eyebrows. He’s not as nasty and pushy as Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. Also, I used to get a lot of foreign policy advice from Vice President Biden, but he has been nowhere to be seen recently,” said the President. “It’s like someone has locked him in a closet or something.”

Cross-posted at Virginia Virtucon

Madonna, With a Twang

"Like a Prayer" covered by Sugarland and Little Big Town:

Facebook Warning

Tomorrow Facebook will change its privacy settings to allow Mark Zuckerberg to come into your house while you sleep and eat your brains with a sharpened spoon. To stop this from happening, go to Account> Home Invasion Settings> Cannibalism> Brains, and uncheck the "Tasty" box.

Cross posted at Virginia Virtucon.

Coming to Theaters April 15

Because it’s the author’s wedding anniversary, didn’t you know? ;)

The trailer is out! What do you think?

Republicans Vote Unanimously on Leaders

Hat tip: BVBL

The Republican Caucus in the House of Representatives not only elected John Boehner (R-OH) as the new Speaker on a unanimous vote, but also, in a spirit of bipartisanship, voted for Nancy Pelosi as Minority Leader. “We have been accused of being uncooperative and partisan,” said new Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA). “However, this is our first step to reach out to the new minority party to help keep them in that lovable situation for a very long time.”

While local Democrat Gerry Connolly (D-VA) did not reveal how he voted, his recent opponent offered words of encouragement. “I definitely support having Nancy Pelosi as Democratic Leader,” said Keith Fimian. "Her presence in such a position will ensure long-term employment for any house inspection business.”

Nancy Pelosi herself was initially receptive to the Republican gesture. However, she became angered when she read the fine print and found out that Republicans were going to require her to fly coach. “So much for having to pass a bill to find out what is in it,” quipped a Republican aide.

Cross-posted at Virginia Virtucon.

Another Isophorone Blog-iversary!

Four years already? Oh yeah, and I plan to start smoking in 51 years. ;)

Krystal Ball to Model for MSNBC “Lean Forward” Slogan

Hat tips: Virginia Virtucon and BVBL

Krystal Ball, the Democratic candidate for Congress in Virginia’s 1st District, will be the model for MSNBC’s “Lean Forward” slogan campaign. “Based on my photographic history, MSNBC thought I would be a natural for their advertising,” said Ball. “While MSNBC is a bit too conservative for my taste, I am always excited to receive more exposure. Anyway, after this campaign I could sure use the money!”

The leftist blogosphere expressed excitement at the announcement. “This is great news, though she’s not as hot as Rachel Maddow,” said a blogger who gave his initials as “NLS.”

MSNBC is not the only party interested in Krystal Ball. Stephen Colbert was heard to say that “she would be a great asset in preparing future Congressional testimony for me.” Secretary of Treasury Tim Geithner is rumored to make an offer to Ball as a tax preparation consultant given her financial experience. Several Russians are also interested in her for both her pictures and her experiences in publicizing stocks.

Sugarland and Little Big Town in Concert!

I attended a concert at Jiffy Lube Live (formerly Nissan Pavilion) on September 25, 2010. Sugarland was the headline act, but the concert also featured Little Big Town and Randy Montana. The WMZQ side stage also featured other upcoming acts such as Trailer Choir (who were pretty funny), Adam Brand (an Australian artist), and others. Here is a video I made of a performance featuring Sugarland and Little Big Town:

Ethanol-Free Gasoline

Hat tip: Autoblog Green

Are you concerned about damage that ethanol may be doing to your car’s engine or to your gas-powered equipment? Want to make a political statement against this rent-seeking practice? Here is a useful site. It lists and maps stations that sell ethanol-free gasoline. Unfortunately, there are no ethanol-free gas stations in the DC metropolitan area, but we can only hope that this situation changes soon. Anyway, check out the site:

http://pure-gas.org/

Cross-posted at Virginia Virtucon

Obama Explains NASA Administrator Remarks

President Barack Hussein Obama today explained the embarrassing comments of NASA Administrator Charles Bolden, who described his “foremost” mission (as given to him by the President), was “to find a way to reach out to the Muslim world and engage much more with predominantly Muslim nations to help them feel good about their historic contribution to science, math, and engineering.” The President explained that “I merely want my fellow Muslims to stop using their aeronautical knowledge to fly planes into buildings.” The President also hoped that the “historic contribution to science, math, and engineering would be used for purposes other than blowing up buses, building tunnels for terrorists, or developing weapons of mass destruction.” It is believed that President Obama is using the NASA Administrator as a policy conduit “because it sure beats backing historical allies like Israel and forcing its warring neighbors to make peace.”

White House press spokesman Robert Gibbs expanded on the President’s remarks even more: “The President is setting a good example in science and engineering for the rest of the world. So far, his policies have given us some big numbers in spending and unemployment. We feel like NASA in this regard because the sky is no longer the limit.”

Cross-posted at Virginia Virtucon.

Top Ten Tasteless Jokes about Al Gore Having an Affair

According to the tabloid magazine Star, Al Gore allegedly had an affair with Laurie David, ex-wife of Larry David (creator of “Seinfeld” and “Curb Your Enthusiasm”). As of this writing, no one knows if this report is true, but tasteless humor can’t wait. Here are my thoughts about the alleged affair:

10. Lessons from Al’s old boss finally sunk in.

9. No cigars were harmed in this affair.

8. Gore got really good with “PowerPoint” presentations.

7. Here we always thought that Gore preferred “pie charts” to “bar graphs.”

6. “So I went to this climate change conference and . . . yada, yada, yada.”

5. Al must have viewed his marriage as “An Inconvenient Truth.”

4. Laurie affectionately calls Al mon petit chaud.

3. Al was just trying to prove that the “hockey stick” theory was for real.

2. Clearly, Al Gore was increasing more than his “carbon footprint.”

And the number one tasteless remark is . . .

1. Now we know what Phil Jones of the University of East Anglia Climate Research Unit was referring to when he wrote the e-mail that said “hide the decline.”

Wow, Tell Us What You REALLY Think

Here's a powerful ad from Les Phillip, a candidate for Congress in Alabama:



Ouch!

Coming Soon to Virginia

Fatalities from Dangerous Energy Technologies

Hat tip: Too Conservative

There has been a lot of debate about expanding new energy sources in Virginia and around the nation. As I have recently learned, some of them have been proved to cause fatalities in construction or operation. Remember, if it happens in Virginia, we can just say “Thank you, Bob McDonnell!”

See the shocking video below for more environmental damage caused by these dangerous technologies.



Cross-posted at Virginia Virtucon

My Evil Plan to Repeal ObamaCare

Hat tip: Yuval Levin at The Corner

To quote House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), “[W]e have to pass the bill so that you can find out what is in it.” One of the interesting things we have learned about the 2,000+ page monstrosity passed by Congressional Democrats has to do with health care access for Congressional staff. According to David Freddoso in the Examiner,

Obamacare was intended, eventually, to push members of Congress and their staff out of the federal employees' health care plan and into the exchanges created by the law. The problem is, those exchanges won't exist for some time. And apparently due to an omission, the ban on offering the federal plan to Capitol Hill employees begins immediately.

The law states that "the only health plans that the Federal Government may make available to Members of Congress and congressional staff" are plans created under Obamacare or offered in its exchanges. According to a 13-page report from the Congressional Research Service, prepared a week after Obamacare's passage, this might mean that your congressman has no health coverage.

It's not exactly clear, because the law also contains a clause stating that no one can be forced to give up coverage they already have. "It is difficult to predict which provision a court would find controlling," CRS notes. At the very least, new hires on the Hill and new congressman appear to be out of luck when it comes to health coverage.

If this is true, it’s quite a testament as to how Democrats have not read their own legislation. As an aside, doesn’t it make you wonder how well Gerry Connolly (D-VA-11) represents all those Federal employees who are his constituents?

So anyway, let’s hope that Republicans increase their majorities over the next couple of election cycles to majorities in both Houses of Congress.. Even better, let’s get a Republican elected President in 2012. So what happens if Democrats try to block repeal of ObamaCare? Maybe the new President, leading a bunch of healthcare bureaucrats he inherited from Obama, can withhold health benefits from Members of Congress and their staff until obstructionist Democrats agree to repeal Obama’s socialized medicine and replace it with a superior free-market system. Isn’t that evil?

Hey, a guy can dream, right?

Is this for real?

32% off the price of a space shuttle. They are only $28,800,000 each and may include free shipping!

Surging, Shown Graphically

Or cratering, depending on your point of view . . .



Is this predictive of 2010? Time will tell!

Barack Obama Becomes Catholic?

I was perusing headlines on Drudge Report when I saw this item:

OBAMA GOES TO MASS.

So, it's Sunday, and President Obama is going to MASS? Then it dawned on me that the headline was referring to MASSACHUSETTS.

Has this kind of thing ever happened to you?

What Bill Clinton Wanted to Say in Massachusetts

Former President Bill Clinton took time off from helping the people of Haiti by appearing at a rally for Democratic Massachusetts U.S. Senate candidate Martha Coakley. Sure he gave a stump speech, but we think that if he were candid, he would describe Coakley in much the same way he allegedly described Barack Obama. So just imagine Clinton saying this:

"A few years ago, Martha Coakley would have been getting me a cigar!"

Don't let your imaginations run too wild!

For the First Time in 41 Years . . .

. . . I will be living for an extended period of time under a Republican Governor!

In case you don't get the joke, I grew up in Maryland, and moved to Virginia just in time for Mark Warner to be sworn in. Sometimes I thought that I was cursed! With any luck, the curse has been broken.

So yeah, the last Republican Governor under whom I lived (at least as a State resident, even though not one of voting age) was Spiro Agnew. Ugh!