Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Kaine Advises Obama on Libya

“Dictator Sure to Be Flushed Out”

Democratic National Committee Chairman and former Virginia Governor Tim Kaine is offering President Obama advice on how to deal with the situation in Libya. “The President should take a cue from my actions in Virginia,” said Kaine. “All we need to do is close all the rest stops on the highways. Since the dictator, Moammar Qadhdhafi surrounds himself with female guards, they will be pissed (pardon the pun) that they cannot stop to freshen up along the roads. They will overthrow Qadhdhafi, and we will not have to fire a shot. This is in keeping with President Obama’s goal of wanting to use ‘non-military means’ against the dictator, as a way of providing support to the rebels there.”

Kaine said that he tried to approach retiring Senator Jim Webb with this idea, but “mysteriously” did not get a hearing. Perhaps my ideas to not mesh well with his ‘Born Fighting’ image,” said Kaine.

President Obama is said to be considering Kaine’s ideas very seriously. “Former Governor Kaine’s ideas have certain raised my eyebrows. He’s not as nasty and pushy as Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. Also, I used to get a lot of foreign policy advice from Vice President Biden, but he has been nowhere to be seen recently,” said the President. “It’s like someone has locked him in a closet or something.”

Cross-posted at Virginia Virtucon