Wednesday, April 01, 2009

Scoop: Jeff Frederick Replaced as RPV Chairman!

We have just gotten word that Jeff Frederick will be replaced as Chairman of the Republican Party of Virginia. According to sources, the White House has extended its strategy of replacing executives of companies to political party organizations. The new RPV Chairman will be none other than Senator Mark Warner (D). According to sources, Warner was judged to have the expertise in voter databases that political parties are said to need. In addition, Warner tours his own abilities to work with Republicans.

While Republican Gubernatorial candidate Bob McDonnell ponders the legalities of such a move, Governor Tim Kaine has been ecstatic. “Mark Warner has the gift of spending money like no one else does,” said the Governor. “He also can predict growth in revenue to match his spending, just like the Obama Administration is doing now. While the Republicans are our opponents, I wish them a lot of luck with Warner at the helm.”

It is believed that one of Warner’s first actions will be to activate a more aggressive fundraising effort for the RPV. “First, he will predict a budget shortfall,” said a source. “He will tax the local unit committees. He will promise a “Road to Richmond’ with the extra revenue, but will probably dole it out to special interests. Needless to say, it will be quite a Sprint.”

Various RPV members were unsure about Warner. “Well, we don’t really trust him,” said a member of the State Central Committee. “Then again, after Warner has been around, we could get quite a bailout.”