Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Caputo Explains Absence from Special Session on Transportation

Testing “Environmentally Acceptable Altenatives”

Hat tips: Too Conservative, Scott’s Morning Brew, Powerline

Fairfax Delegate Carmine “Chuck” Caputo (D-67) finally gave his constituents an explanation as to why he missed the General Assembly Special Session that had been called to deal with transportation. According to Caputo, he was on a site visit to examine the feasibility of biodiesel-based river transport at the invitation of former Vice President Al Gore. Caputo helpfully provided a picture of the vessel and says he plans to "float" this idea in the next General Assembly session.

“With this ship we can move hundreds, if not dozens of people monthly,” said Caputo. “It will take care of the need for outer crossings or burdening my constituents with additional lane miles of roads. Since Governor Kaine clearly has no interest in building new roads for Northern Virginia, I thought that Al Gore’s boat would be the logical alternative.”

Caputo heaped praise on Gore and the eponymously-named “BS-1.” “The BS-1 is even equipped with a jet ski that can take commuters on smaller bodies of water. With proper planning, I am confident that we can test it on Little Rocky Run. I am also confident that we can cut a few minutes off the carbon emissions from those pesky little Smart cars.”

Al Gore was a gracious host. “He gave me a few carbon credits for my birthday,” said Caputo. “I think he will also put in a good word for me with Ted Kennedy so I can research his environmentally-conscious marine transportation technology as well."