Gassy Al and Lots of BULL

Did you all catch the Oscars? I didn’t think so. However, my wife likes watching these shows, so I dropped by the family room to see what was going on. Just my luck I caught the “let’s put Al Gore on stage to spout propaganda just in case his flick doesn’t win an award” segment.

Remember back during the Clinton Administration how their fingerprints were all over everything? Well, in Gore’s case, we seem to have to worry about footprints. According to a recent news release, Gore has one heck of a lot of energy use!

EXCERPT:

In his documentary, the former Vice President calls on Americans to conserve
energy by reducing electricity consumption at home.

The average household in America consumes 10,656 kilowatt-hours (kWh) per year, according to the Department of Energy. In 2006, Gore devoured nearly 221,000 kWh—more than 20 times the national average.

Last August alone, Gore burned through 22,619 kWh—guzzling more than twice the electricity in one month than an average American family uses in an entire year. As a result of his energy consumption, Gore’s average monthly electric bill topped $1,359.

Since the release of An Inconvenient Truth, Gore’s energy consumption has increased from an average of 16,200 kWh per month in 2005, to 18,400 kWh per month in 2006.

Gore’s extravagant energy use does not stop at his electric bill. Natural gas bills for Gore’s mansion and guest house averaged $1,080 per month last year.

So his energy use is increasing? Ah, yes, we call that the “European model,” right? LOL

Now, I don’t want to make too much light of his weight, but let’s face it, Al, your need for better-fitting suits is just one more waste of energy and resources. If you weren’t jetting around to these fancy U.N receptions, you wouldn’t look like you were about to release a whole lot of “greenhouse gas” yourself!

Yeah, it is just like a cult, this Gaia-worship. Their high priest is not subject to the moral standards he imposes on the rest of the flock. And let one of the watermelon children (green on the outside, red on the inside) away from adult supervision too long, they’ll tell you all about “pollution prevention through population control” or some such dangerous nonsense. Of course, High Priest Gore, with his four children, is exempt.

Well, the good news is that Ellen DeGeneres was so bad (as in put the “dead” in deadpan) that she made Gore look animated. I did like the sound effects chorus and even sang along. Who knew I had such musical talent! LOL

Sorry I've Been AWOL

Yes, I'm still alive. My wife has had me play amateur travel agent, and figuring out where to stay in San Francisco this summer is time-consuming and headache-inducing. If anyone has any good suggestions for cheap and clean there, please let me know. Please keep in mind that we are two adults and two children.

I've also been a bit busy at work. On top of that, for some reason the New Blogger doesn't seem to work well with the computer (or firewall) there.

I will TRY to get back to some normal posting in the near future, and maybe get my six-year-old to help.

Elementary Thoughts VI

The latest message from my six-year-old son:

Light bulbs could pop. Disk could get music. Subway. I don't want to say anymore.

Pelosi Steps into Virginia Transportation Debate

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA), stung by criticism of her demands for a large plane to carry her to and from California, has entered the Virginia transportation debate. The Speaker is apparently dissatisfied with the inconvenience of having to go to a distant airport to pick up her “ride home,” so instead she is examining a closer alternative.

According to sources who would rather not be identified, Pelosi would like to step out of her office in the Capitol and jet home. In order to do this, she plans to pave over the entire National Mall with a runway and widen Interstate 66 to twelve lanes to accommodate her aircraft. Engineering design estimates show that she would need only a ten-lane road, but “the Speaker is now thinking of getting a 747 jet” to carry her, her friends, family, and supporters. “You can’t have the 757. What happens if she has a couple more grandchildren she needs to trot before the cameras?”

Speaker Pelosi will still allow for vehicle traffic on I-66. Governor Tim Kaine is urging her not to take off or land during rush hour, but “you never know what national emergency might require her to fly out on a Friday afternoon.”

Freshman Senator James Webb (D-VA) is reportedly ecstatic about the idea. “Since Nancy Pelosi will have the pilot and several crew with her on the aircraft, she will never violate High Occupancy Vehicle (HOV) restrictions. This shows how she is one of the people and not just some fatcat.”

A Must-Have for Any Household

Hat tip: Annals of Improbable Research

The Donut Robot.

Read one person's experience.

No jokes about police stations, please! (Yes, I see your "glazed" expression!)

VA Blog Carnival

Virginia Blog Carnival now up at Cathouse Chat. There's definitely some good reading there, even for those of you not from Virginia.

News You Can Use

Three pages full of brownie recipes!

We made the ones that have the layer of raspberry spread in them. They were quite popular at a Super Bowl party and at my office. Yes, we (and that means my six-year-old son and I) made them from scratch, not from a mix. My son likes cracking eggs, and fortunately no one encountered any eggshell in their brownie pieces.

Elementary Thoughts V

More selected wisdom from my six year old son:

You use mouses for the computers. The rubber bands you use when things need it. We print out things with the printer. You hear with speakers. You write things on paper when you need to. Lights are bright. You use hole punchers to punch papers. Nothing else.

The Pelosi Fighting Vehicle

Hat tip: My friend Dan.

The Democrats initiated their new military strategy for ending the war in Iraq today with the roll-out their first new weapon. It was named it in honor of the new House Majority Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, who is leading the way for effective change in government. Al Gore championed the effort claiming it a victory for both our military and the environment due to anticipated reduction in global warming and dependency on foreign oil. Sources quoted Mr. Gore as stating "This is the most important technological advancement since I invented the Internet."

"Win the War" Yard Signs

Check this out from SWAC Girl

(SWAC Girl, I hope you don't mind that I borrowed the image from your blog.)

Perfect for your suburban yard or city apartment/condo window!

Biden Seeks to Shift Blame

Howard Dean Forced to Step In

After facing a barrage of criticism over his remarks characterizing Senator Barack Obama (D-IL) as “bright and clean and a nice-looking guy,” Sen. Joseph Biden (D-DE) has asked the public to understand his perspective a little better.

“You must understand,” said Biden, “that I come from Delaware, home to DuPont Chemicals. Believe me, I strive for being in a clean atmosphere. I am sure research will show that the global warming started by use of their products may be a factor in several of my previous controversial remarks. I will attach legislation requiring the Environmental Protection Agency to deliver a report to us in the coming year on this very topic.”

Biden went on to describe the atmosphere in Congress as a factor as well. “Have you had to work closely with Byrd, Kennedy, and Dodd? I mean, these guys are called ‘old farts’ for a reason! Then there’s Hillary Clinton. You know that there’s always something that smells fishy about her. So it should not surprise you that I meant no disrespect to Sen. Obama when I described him as clean.”

Reaction came swiftly from Clinton’s office: “As a lifelong New Yorker, I can say that to describe any politician from Chicago, particularly a Democrat, as ‘clean’ is highly insulting. Perhaps our colleague from Delaware is a little out of touch with big-city realities being from such a small State.”

Democratic National Committee Chairman Howard Dean has gotten into the act. He is quoted as saying, “Just as Ronald Reagan had an Eleventh Commandment not to speak ill of fellow Republicans, we shall have a Twelfth Commandment to prevent this kind of incident in the future. From now on, ‘Thou shalt not speak well of a fellow Democrat.’”