Tired of Being “Dogged” by Criticism
In an unusual admission today, the Obama Administration doubled down on support for higher gas prices. According to Press Secretary Jay Carney, the Administration became concerned after hearing reports of how Republican Presidential hopeful and former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney had driven on a family vacation with the family dog in a cage strapped to the roof of the car. “Having a dog in a cage reduces vehicle fuel economy,” stated Carney. “With higher gas prices, people will think twice about reducing their mileage with that kind of aerodynamic drag. Our Nobel Prize-winning Energy Secretary showed us the calculations, and they blew us away. This could be the biggest thing since the President’s suggestion from the 2008 campaign to have everyone inflate their tires properly.”
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton joined the press briefing to add her own support to Administration policy. “Once Bill and I were in the car and I got mad at him for buying a dozen Big Macs. I hadn’t thrown more than three of them out the window before we got into an argument. The next thing I knew he had pulled this big cage out of the trunk, stuffed me into it, and strapped it to the roof. If you think being on a car roof while on a trip to Canada was bad enough, you should try being in Arkansas during the summer!
“All this time I was wondering why he kept that cage in the trunk among the payoff checks. I should have known better than to believe Bill when he winked and said it was for cigar boxes.”
Vice President Joe Biden, ever the one to be sensitive to Asian people, added that he had a practical solution to keep the dog occupied during long road trips. “In honor of the Secretary of Energy, we have provided stimulus money to one of our generous donors to develop a ‘Chu toy.’ Get it?”
Cross-posted to Virginia Virtucon